As a mom and a certified life coach, I’m all about helping kids explore their individuality while embracing the differences that make us unique. I often tell my partner that my primary goal as a parent is for my children to grow up knowing themselves rather than fitting into a box I’ve created. Recently, I stumbled upon several articles arguing against the need for kids to say “Please,” “Thank you,” or “I’m sorry!” The reasoning behind this is that kids should never be forced into uttering words they don’t genuinely feel, which supposedly encourages obedience over self-acceptance. You’d think I’d be on board with this train of thought, right? Well, not quite!
While I appreciate the good intentions behind these arguments, here are four reasons why I believe teaching our kids to use polite phrases is still essential:
1. Preventing a Sense of Entitlement
Kids who aren’t taught to express gratitude with a “thank you” or to ask politely with a “please” are more likely to develop a sense of entitlement. When children learn to acknowledge others’ feelings with simple courtesies, they begin to consider people beyond themselves. They may want that candy, but it’s not theirs to take. By encouraging them to ask graciously and accept rather than just grab, we help reduce any developing sense of entitlement. That little reminder to “use your manners” can make a world of difference.
2. Fostering Mutual Respect
Respect isn’t just a given; it’s something we teach. Naturally, we’re a bit selfish, and if we’re not shown how to respect others, we might trample over feelings with pride. When I started teaching my little one to say “thank you” at just two years old, he quickly learned that everyone who helped him deserved acknowledgment. Sure, he might not grasp the full depth of this concept yet, but laying the groundwork for respect early on is worth the effort—even if it means a few reminders!
3. Building Empathy
When one of my kids unintentionally hurts another child, it’s crucial for them to apologize—not just as a formality but to help them understand empathy. Saying “I’m sorry,” even when they don’t feel it, prompts them to reflect on their actions and their impact on others. This process helps them consider how the other child might feel. Empathy is a vital skill that can easily be overlooked if it’s not nurtured or modeled.
4. What If We’re Wrong?
I’ll admit, not enforcing “please,” “thank you,” or “I’m sorry” would be a lot easier. The idea that we could raise magically polite and empathetic kids without these phrases is tempting. But what if we’re mistaken? What if we end up with a generation that only thinks of themselves and never truly learns gratitude or forgiveness? If your goal in teaching manners is to instill these values rather than mere obedience, then your intentions are on the right track.
As a mom, I mess up plenty, but this is one area where I strive to get it right. So far, I see far more benefits from keeping these polite phrases in our daily lives than tossing them aside. If you’re curious about home insemination methods and tips, check out this post for more insights on the topic and visit this resource for expert advice. Also, for those considering options like IVF, this link is an excellent resource to explore.
Summary
Teaching kids to use manners is crucial for preventing entitlement, fostering mutual respect, building empathy, and avoiding the risk of raising self-centered individuals. While it may seem easier to skip these lessons, the long-term benefits of instilling gratitude and forgiveness are invaluable.