I Don’t Wear ‘Girly’ Clothes, But That Doesn’t Make Me Any Less of a Woman

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been dubbed a “tomboy.” With a vagina and a wardrobe that’s been dominated by blue jeans since birth, I get it. I’m not what most would call “girly.” I’m not “feminine.” Society tells us that dresses scream femininity while dress pants say otherwise. Pencil skirts are perfect for weddings, but suits? Well, those are a no-go for women in some circles.

To some, women who bypass dresses are seen as less feminine than those who embrace them. In high school, I was considered less “lady-like” because I opted for football jerseys instead of skirts. When I chose basketball practice over a manicure, I was labeled “one of the guys.” To all those who judged, I’d like to calmly respond: “That’s nonsense.”

Sure, I don’t fit the mold of a traditional girly girl as depicted by media and magazines. The standard image of femininity might include rosy cheeks, pearls, and legs that are always bare, but I don’t embody any of those traits. For a long time, this left me feeling less confident compared to my dress-wearing peers. Then I realized that icons like Mia Thompson, celebrities like Jennifer Stone and Anna Kendrick, and even powerful politicians like Maya Johnson confidently rock their own styles without a dress in sight. And guess what? They’re no less women than anyone who chooses to don a ball gown.

Surprise! Dressing in a more “masculine” way doesn’t diminish femininity.

What a woman wears doesn’t dictate her femininity. An old adage suggests that “the clothes make the man,” but I firmly disagree when it comes to women. A woman can don whatever she desires and still radiate femininity, attractiveness, and sexiness. Choosing pants and sneakers—or even sweats—doesn’t make anyone less of a woman. The notion that one woman is less feminine because she opts for trousers is not just frustrating, it’s downright offensive.

Right now, I own just two dresses. I wore both once for weddings, where following the bride’s wishes is non-negotiable. The last time I wore a dress outside of those events was ages ago. Wearing stereotypically “female” attire just doesn’t resonate with me. It makes me feel out of place, and definitely less like the powerful badass I aspire to be each morning. But let me be clear: my preference for a Joan Jett style of “I don’t give a damn about my reputation” doesn’t erase my identity as a woman or my femininity.

What defines femininity is how a woman feels about herself. It’s a subjective concept influenced by individual experiences and culture. If you’re rocking that self-confidence and proclaiming, “I am woman, hear me roar,” then it really doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. What counts is donning whatever makes you feel fabulous and fierce. So, to anyone trying to label you, forget it. Tomboy? Who cares! Keep roaring, ladies!

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In summary, a woman’s clothing choices don’t define her femininity. Embracing personal style is about confidence and comfort rather than adhering to outdated notions of what it means to be feminine.