The Day My 5-Year-Old Encountered His White Privilege

home insemination Kit

A few years back, my family took a trip to the iconic Mount Rushmore. While strolling along the trails that wind past the monument, I decided to check out the bookstore with my 5-year-old son, Leo, tagging along. He quickly spotted a bookmark displaying oval portraits of all 44 U.S. presidents lined up in neat rows. Naturally, we searched for the four iconic faces we’d just seen carved into the mountain.

“Who’s the president now?” Leo asked, his eyes wide with curiosity. I pointed to the last face on the bookmark and replied, “That’s Barack Obama. He’s been our president since before you were born.”

Leo—a fair-haired, blue-eyed little dude—furrowed his brow as he surveyed the portraits. “Huh,” he said, “He doesn’t look like a president.”

I was taken aback.

Our family is multiracial, and I’ve spent years studying and writing about race in America. I had felt a surge of joy when President Obama was elected, and here was my son, declaring that our first black president didn’t fit the presidential mold. I glanced around at others in the store, trying to mask my astonishment.

Yet, it was less shocking than my “woke” brain wanted to believe. It was simply a preschool observation, akin to a line from Sesame Street: “One of these things is not like the others…” To Leo, the lone brown face amidst a sea of white ones stood out. In his innocent eyes, Obama didn’t seem to “look like a president.”

That moment was peculiar, recognizing that Leo had no awareness of the centuries of oppression and injustice tied to his statement. But I did. I took a deep breath and reminded myself to keep it simple.

“He does look different, doesn’t he?” I said, infusing my voice with a cheerful calmness. “For a long time, American presidents have looked similar, but that’s changing now. We’ll see many different kinds of people as presidents from here on out. Isn’t that cool?”

He nodded and swiftly moved on to the candy bars, seemingly satisfied with my response. Ah, the bliss of being 5!

One day, I’ll share this story with him, highlighting it as his first encounter with his own white privilege. We’ll explore how he sees his skin color reflected in the majority of powerful men throughout history and what that means for him. We’ll discuss what black and brown children perceive when they look at those portraits and the implications it has for them. Together, we’ll delve into the harsh realities of our nation’s racial history and the complexities of modern racism as we strive to understand our roles as white Americans in mending our country’s deep-rooted wounds.

Many misunderstand white privilege as merely a matter of opportunity or economics. It’s more profound than that. White privilege means a child sees their most prominent physical trait mirrored in a lineup of our nation’s leaders. It’s a 6-year-old student of mine responding to a Martin Luther King Day lesson with the startling yet relatable: “Whew! I’m glad I’m white.”

It’s having a celebrated national monument showcasing four white faces carved into sacred hills for the Lakota Sioux. It’s recognizing that the power dynamics in our country have always favored us, and that neither we nor our ancestors have faced government oppression because of skin color.

As a white mother raising white children, I can’t rewrite history or erase the existence of privilege. But I can ensure my kids grasp how privilege shapes their lives and others’, teaching them how to use it to advocate for justice.

President Obama will always stand out from the others, his likeness serving as a pivotal marker on the timeline of U.S. presidents. I hope that one day, my son’s children and grandchildren will see a diverse array of faces beyond that marker—one representing a spectrum of ethnicity and gender, where every child can see themselves reflected. A world where a 5-year-old can look at anyone and confidently declare they “look like a president.”

For those interested in exploring more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this insightful resource. And if you’re considering your own journey, visit Make a Mom for a comprehensive look at home insemination kits. If you have any questions or need more information, feel free to contact us.

In summary, the encounter I had with my son opened my eyes to the nuances of white privilege and the importance of discussing these topics with the next generation. It’s a crucial conversation to have, ensuring a future where every child can see themselves in positions of power.