Compliments from my father were like gold dust—extremely rare and often buried under layers of his New England practicality. He had a sharp tongue and an even sharper opinion, rarely expressing his pride unless I achieved something monumental. Yet, despite the scarcity of his praise, I continually sought his approval, a quest that often left me feeling disheartened.
So when my daughter entered the world, weighing in at a petite five pounds, I was determined to raise her in an environment where she felt strong and secure without needing external validation. I wanted her to embody independence from day one, thriving in a household where her talents and strengths were celebrated openly. I wasn’t aiming for a world filled with empty compliments about her appearance; instead, I wanted her to know, right from the moment they placed her in my arms, that she was a force to be reckoned with, destined to shine brightly.
I also made sure my husband was on board with this mission. I understood that my nurturing would complement his approach to fatherhood, and together we could provide her with a balanced view of strength. I could empower her to challenge the status quo, while I knew she needed a father who would exemplify strength and kindness. I wanted him to shower her with genuine compliments without her having to plead for them.
And boy, has he delivered! Watching him nurture her confidence only makes me love him more. As she blossoms into a bright and graceful 11-year-old, it’s clear that she now, more than ever, needs to hear affirmations of her power. In today’s challenging socio-political landscape, I take pride in knowing she is surrounded by women raising their voices for justice, ensuring she has the autonomy to make choices about her body and receive fair compensation for her work. She’s backed by a formidable group of strong women, which is truly inspiring.
But here’s the kicker: she also has supportive men in her life who actively show that they value the strong women around them. We need more men like this.
We need those who come to basketball games, exhausted from their long workdays, and coach our girls on the court, teaching them resilience and teamwork. We need the men at family gatherings who beam with joy when they see their nieces, taking the time to engage with them and genuinely listen when they share what they’ve learned in school.
We need educators who believe in girls’ capabilities, who don’t assume they can’t excel in math, and who recognize that a girl can absolutely slay at science experiments. We need healthcare professionals advocating for women’s rights and providing the quality medical care they deserve.
Like the gentleman who recently defended my daughter in a bustling restaurant. When he overheard her being belittled by her grandmother, claiming she wasn’t strong enough to pursue her dreams, he stood up, walked over, and made it clear that she could achieve anything with determination. He told her to hold her head high, and as she relayed this to me, her eyes sparkled with disbelief. “He doesn’t even know me! And he believes in me!” she said.
This wonderful man reminded everyone around that telling a girl she’s not strong enough only perpetuates the patriarchy. If we keep saying she can’t, she’ll never break through that glass ceiling. Then he casually returned to his meal like it was just another day.
This is the kind of man I want in my daughter’s life. Although I may never know his name or what he does, I know he made an indelible impact on her. Since I wasn’t at the restaurant to thank him personally, I may never get that chance. I’ll never know what drove his actions, nor will I know if he has a daughter of his own. But what I do know is he made my journey as a parent so much easier, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. My daughter will remember him, and if our paths cross again, his burger and fries are definitely on me!
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Summary
In a world where validation can be scarce, it’s crucial for young girls to have both strong women and supportive men in their lives. This article emphasizes the importance of empowering our daughters through genuine encouragement and positive role models, highlighting a personal anecdote of a man who stood up for a young girl’s dreams. Together, let’s create environments where girls are celebrated for their strength and capabilities.