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When You’re Not Always There: A Parent’s Perspective
So, you missed bedtime last night. Maybe you were stuck at work, caught in traffic, or involved in a volunteer event that ran longer than anticipated. At this point, it’s irrelevant.
What truly counts is this: you wanted to be home. You longed to be with your little ones. And guess what? You know it, I know it, and most importantly, your kids know it too.
Yet, the worry creeps in. You’re juggling a million things at work and home, with everyone vying for your time and focus. So, you dive into work, tackling tasks head-on, and then switch gears to shower your kids with love when you return. You’re doing an amazing job as a parent, but still, the doubts linger. Are you doing enough? Are you making the right choices for your family?
Let me reassure you: you’re absolutely doing right by your family.
First, let’s acknowledge the obvious—you adore your kids. You know this, they know this. But still, you fret that they might think otherwise. You worry that missing a baseball game or a piano recital reflects poorly on your parenting skills. You fear it makes you less loving, less dedicated, or less supportive.
But let’s be clear: that’s all nonsense. There are countless ways to express love, and being present for every single moment isn’t one of them. Sometimes, providing for your family means working hard to bring home the bacon (and covering the mortgage, utility bills, and yes, even those piano lessons). Being a dedicated parent often means prioritizing your children’s needs over your own, which might occasionally result in missing an event.
Let’s be honest—parents constantly put their children first. Everything we do stems from our immense love and desire to create wonderful memories for our kids.
You’re not just worrying about your children when you miss events; you’re also anxious about your own feelings. You genuinely enjoy spending time with your family, and it’s natural to fear missing out on precious moments.
But consider what you’re teaching your children in the process. You’re showing them that essentials like food, shelter, and clothing require hard work. You’re demonstrating that life is full of trade-offs and sacrifices, and that your world extends beyond just them. After all, the universe doesn’t revolve around them, no matter how much they might wish it did!
I see how deeply you care for your children. I see the joy on your face when they’re around. Even after a long day at work, you find ways to express your love—slipping notes under their doors, FaceTiming from hotel rooms, or giving them attentive tuck-ins at night. You engage in storytelling, sing songs, and create special moments that the “always present” parent may not always have the energy to muster.
Through your actions—both when you’re present and when you’re away meeting other obligations—you’re teaching your kids to be kind, responsible adults. Trust me, you’re doing a spectacular job, even when you can’t be everywhere at once.
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In summary, don’t let guilt cloud your parenting. You’re doing an incredible job, even when life pulls you in different directions. You love your kids, and that love shines through in so many ways, even when you can’t be there for everything.