My partner is certainly not perfect. He leaves his socks and shorts in the most random places, like the kitchen counter (seriously, why?!). He has a terrible sense of direction but refuses to stop and ask for help, and let’s not even get started on his “refrigerator blindness” — the dude can’t remember to take out the trash to save his life.
But he’s an incredible husband who loves me unconditionally, and he truly shines as a dad. I don’t just say that because he makes our kids laugh the moment he walks through the door or lets them pile on top of him like he’s their personal jungle gym. It’s not just that he loses his cool sometimes but always makes amends with hugs and kisses. It’s because he would do anything for our children, just as I would.
He’s a phenomenal dad because he is consistently present. He stayed up late during those colicky newborn nights, walking and bouncing our little ones around the house while I stole a few precious moments of sleep. And when they woke up, whether as infants or toddlers (which was way too often, if I’m honest), he was just as likely to be the one to soothe them back to sleep.
From day one, he has never viewed childcare as an extra task or something he’s “pitching in” on. As a co-creator of our little ones, he knew he was equally responsible, and he has never faltered in that commitment.
It’s disheartening to realize that this shouldn’t be remarkable. Dads, regardless of their work status or outside responsibilities, should prioritize their children. Mothers shouldn’t be the “default” parent, and dads shouldn’t receive accolades for merely doing their part.
And yet, my partner often feels like a rare breed. It’s 2023, right? I can’t fathom why I still hear countless stories about fathers who do the exact opposite of equal parenting. I’m not talking about the extreme cases of abusive or absent fathers. I mean the dads who need reminders to do basic things like changing a diaper, taking their kids to the park, or getting them another bowl of cereal.
I work from home, and I often send my husband and kids out for a few hours on the weekends so I can focus. It’s amusing to see how often someone (usually a woman) praises him for simply having a conversation with our sons over lunch.
Why is this worthy of notice? This is what parents are supposed to do, right?
I cherish my partner and appreciate that he’s attuned to our kids’ needs, but it’s concerning that he stands out in a crowd. Thankfully, I know he’s not alone. There are many fathers who prioritize their children, who will drop everything to be present, who enable mothers to shower in peace or enjoy a night out with friends without guilt. These dads understand that parenting is a full-time job and won’t clock out when they feel done.
I know these fathers exist, and I admire them tremendously for challenging stereotypes and setting a new standard for the next generation of men and boys.
And here’s a thought: if you’re in a relationship where your partner isn’t equally sharing the parenting responsibilities, you don’t have to accept that. Communicate your needs, and encourage him to step up. He’s not just a babysitter; he’s a co-parent.
Dads, if you recognize that you’re not fully engaged, today is the perfect opportunity to change that. It’s possible to learn the ropes and set a strong example for your children and the generations to come. Your kids and partner will appreciate it.
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Summary
This letter celebrates dads who embrace their role in parenting as equally as their partners. It highlights the importance of shared responsibilities in childcare, challenges societal norms, and calls for fathers to actively participate in their children’s lives. Acknowledging the ongoing struggle for equality in parenting, it encourages open communication within families and offers resources for home insemination.