We Are a Family That Celebrates — and Even Relishes — Noisy Bodily Functions

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My partner didn’t let loose in front of me until our honeymoon. It feels like just yesterday, even though it was 18 years ago. We were perched in twin rocking chairs on the porch of a charming, secluded cabin with a view of the Pacific. As we chatted and admired the scenery, my dashing new husband leaned over, lifted one cheek off the chair, and unleashed the loudest fart I’d ever encountered—without skipping a beat in conversation.

I was taken aback (badum-tss) and honestly, a bit impressed.

My husband’s talent for farting with flair is rivaled only by my own ability to burp like a pro. I might not pass gas often, but when it comes to burping, I’m a champion. While we maintain a semblance of decorum in public, once we’re home, our bodily functions are free to roam.

One acquaintance confessed she’d be horrified if her husband ever heard her pass gas. Really?! Sometimes, I wish I could fart on cue just to get back at my husband for all the times he’s turned our bed into a Dutch oven. We view these occurrences as natural, not suitable for public display, but absolutely hilarious in the comfort of our own family time.

I didn’t grow up in such a relaxed environment. My dad would occasionally fart and jokingly blame it on “barking spiders.” I was taught to always say “Excuse me” after burping (which I still do, even when I’m alone—thanks, Mom!). My older brother sometimes hosted sleepovers, so I was familiar with the whole lighting-farts-on-fire spectacle. But aside from that, my upbringing was much less gassy than the life I share with my husband.

That’s what happens when you marry into a family of farters. I’ve lost count of the inside jokes revolving around my in-laws’ flatulence. Each family member has their own distinct sound or melody when they let one rip. Honestly, I can identify who farted from across the house. Is that something to take pride in? Probably not, but it’s our reality.

Our kids have taken up the gassy banner and run with it. I can’t really blame them—farts are just plain funny. I recall my toddlers giggling at their own toots long before they could walk. And burps? Why do they have to make such delightful sounds? If a baby finds it amusing, we’re clearly meant to laugh.

Society’s discomfort with bodily functions can be a cultural thing. In some cultures, burping or farting after a meal is seen as a compliment to the chef. Naturally, anything that smells bad is universally frowned upon, so perhaps there’s an art to it in those societies.

Of course, we’ve taught our kids to be discreet and polite in public. We’ve instilled some decent habits around our dinner table—like trying to burp quietly, saying “Excuse me,” and leaving the table for a fart. But when we’re just chilling at home? Let’s just say our living room becomes a concert of wind instruments. C’est la vie.

Bodily functions are part of life, and we’re a family that fully embraces that truth. It’s far more enjoyable to find humor in a resounding belch or a particularly loud fart than to cringe in horror. As long as we’re not subjecting the general public to our uncouth behaviors, I feel completely fine laughing and joking about our toots and burps.

To sum it up, here’s our family motto, which you’re welcome to borrow:

• Be polite in public.
• Say “Excuse me” if you slip.
• But at home with just our family,
• Go ahead and let ‘er rip!

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Summary

In our family, we celebrate the humor in bodily functions rather than shying away from them. We’ve created a culture where it’s acceptable to laugh at our toots and burps in private, while maintaining politeness in public. Embracing these natural occurrences has brought us closer and made our home a lively, fun place to be.