We can all picture our moms stumbling upon a throw pillow that has some not-so-subtle designs on it. Honestly, we’re surprised it hasn’t happened to us yet. Recently, a Reddit user named Peanut_Pillow shared a rather cringe-worthy story about his mother’s latest home decor choice, and we all felt his discomfort.
In a post on the Funny subreddit, Peanut_Pillow shared a photo with the caption, “My mom bought these throw pillows.” It seems that some people take a while to register what they’re actually seeing. Most of us, however, would glance at this pillow and immediately notice, “Whoa, that’s a rather prominent veiny penis on that cushion.” A second look only confirms our suspicions: it’s a throw pillow covered in a pattern of penises, and yes, it’s available online at various retailers.
If you share the same taste as Peanut_Pillow’s mom and have an appreciation for the art of uncircumcised penis flowers, you can snag one of these pillows from Look Human, available in sizes ranging from 14 to 20 inches. They even come in materials suitable for both indoor and outdoor use, so we’re just saying someone should really get one and toss it in a hammock.
While I’m not one for penis-themed pillows, I must admit that from a distance, they can appear somewhat charming. It’s only when you get up close that the real design comes into focus, which is also a fitting metaphor for many experiences in life.
For those who prefer a bold statement, Amazon has a selection of penis pillows that are unapologetically explicit. You don’t want your guests to ponder, “Do those flowers look like penises?” No, you want them to confidently say, “Yep, those are definitely dicks on that cushion.” They even come in a more subdued navy color for versatility.
This floral penis trend is perfect for anyone who embraces a cheeky sense of humor. A friend suggested these pillows might make for a wonderfully passive-aggressive gift for your mother-in-law, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s their true purpose. Imagine getting them monogrammed or having your frenemy’s name stitched in bold red—talk about a creative revenge! Or you could make a sweet gift from the kids that says, “My grandma is like a flower.” Just tossing around ideas here.
The fact that these pillows exist in the world, where our moms could stumble upon them, brings both pride and a bit of anxiety. No one wants to walk into a living room and see their dad lounging next to a pillow covered in penises. Yet, I’d definitely consider a pair for the porch.
This article was originally published on April 4, 2017.
For more on parenting and home insemination, check out this related post on our blog. If you’re curious about the ins and outs of self insemination, you might also want to visit MakeAMom for expert insights. And don’t forget to explore March of Dimes for valuable resources about fertility treatments.
In summary, a Reddit user’s mom inadvertently bought throw pillows featuring explicit designs, making us all cringe and laugh at the same time. These pillows, while humorous, remind us of the fine line between decor and discomfort, especially when it comes to family.