$90 for a Throw Pillow? Seriously, Joanna?

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A few years back, I discovered Joanna Larkins and her genius with shiplap, and let me tell you, it was love at first sight! Who knew that a few simple boards could bring so much joy? Suddenly, I was yearning for a farmhouse sink and gleaming stainless steel countertops. Joanna has this magical ability to transform worn-out homes into breathtaking spaces without breaking the bank. She and her husband, Max, are pros at turning rundown houses into dream homes while keeping everything within a reasonable price range.

One of my favorite pastimes is binge-watching Fixer Upper. The stunning transformations leave me standing in my dining room, sledgehammer in one hand and paintbrush in the other, dreaming of knocking down walls and adding rustic beams (after the shiplap, of course). “I need to open up this space and give it some character!” is the kind of mantra I find myself repeating.

So, when I heard that Joanna was launching her own line of home accessories, I was over the moon. After all, the name of her show is Fixer Upper, and she’s a whiz at revamping dilapidated homes on a budget by using upcycled materials. She’s living proof that you can make your dreams come true without spending a fortune.

Plus, Joanna has four kids and a slew of animals, so she understands the chaos that comes with family life. Surely her Magnolia Home pillows, rugs, and accessories would be reasonably priced, right? She knows how quickly home accessories can get wrecked, so shelling out a fortune for them seems absurd.

I envisioned decking out my entire home with her accents, hoping my guests would be in awe. Would my space finally be HGTV-worthy? Absolutely! But then my dreams came crashing down.

Joanna, $90 for a throw pillow? Are you serious? Please tell me this is a joke. I’m not about to spend $90 for 22 inches of fabric. As a fellow mom, you know what happens to throw pillows. They become canvases for boogers, pizza stains, and juice spills. They turn into the ultimate hiding spot for gum wrappers and lollipop sticks. Not to mention, they are dragged around the house as our little ones use them for sledding down the stairs or building epic forts. And let’s be real, at some point, they’re likely to end up in the vicinity of some bare behinds.

Where’s the budget-friendly pricing that made you famous for fixing up homes? I could use a pillow that doesn’t cost as much as a week’s worth of groceries, thanks very much! And what about those throw blankets? Are they woven from unicorn tears? Because if they aren’t, I’ll be cursing as soon as my dog claims it as his napping spot or my son uses it as a makeshift drop cloth for his bike repairs after I’ve asked him (45 times) to use an old towel instead.

A rug for $2,300? Are you kidding me? Does it come equipped with babysitting services, drink delivery, and a self-cleaning feature? If not, I think I’ll save my pennies for something that matters, like my kids’ college funds. With kids and pets, rugs are practically disposable in my household—go cheap or go bare!

Don’t get me wrong, Joanna, your line is stunning. I’d expect nothing less. Those throws would look fabulous on my couch, but let’s be honest; no kid could resist wrecking it faster than Max can crack a silly joke.

I’m a bit miffed, Joanna. Please come back to us with something that matches the Fixer Upper theme without the outrageous price tag. Until then, I’ll be cozying up with my $5.99 T.J. Maxx pillows (which smell faintly of apple juice) while wrapped in a clearance Target throw, watching my kids roll themselves up in the dining room rug like a taco, without a care in the world, thank you very much.

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In summary, while Joanna Larkins has an undeniable gift for design, her latest home accessory line leaves much to be desired when it comes to affordability. As a mom, I need practical options that won’t leave my wallet empty after just a few throw pillows.