When my son, Leo, hit first grade, we made school lunches a form of punishment for the first time. Being our eldest, Leo is notoriously picky. And when I say picky, I mean he’ll only eat a select few items without making a face—think cereal, mac and cheese, candy, and pistachios. It’s astonishing how limited his preferences are. I can’t completely blame myself, though; I’m a picky eater too. I’ve learned to tolerate various foods while visiting friends, but if it were up to me, I’d happily survive on breakfast cereal and soda. I feel for Leo; he dreads school lunches just as much as I did, and I can only imagine how this will affect his future partner. My wife often shakes her head in disbelief at our culinary conundrum.
I’m not entirely sure if school lunches are as dismal as they were back in the ’90s, or if it’s just my aversion to relinquishing control over my meals. I hated being faced with those dreadful options: lasagna or meatloaf, both served with half-frozen tater tots. But what’s clear is that Leo insisted on having a packed lunch every single day. The thought of going to school without it was as terrifying for him as facing a dark cave. He was adamant about avoiding foods that didn’t come from our kitchen, sticking strictly to his short list of “safe” foods.
The day it all changed stemmed from a typical parenting battle: cleaning his room. It was late, and we were living in a cozy little apartment where any mess stood out. As Leo stubbornly refused to budge, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, I glanced at his packed lunch and said, “Fine. If you won’t clean your room, you can have school lunch tomorrow.”
He didn’t throw a tantrum like you’d see in a movie, but the anguish in his eyes spoke volumes. As a parent, it’s hard not to feel a bit satisfied when you find the right lever to pull to get your child to cooperate. Some parents might take away screen time or allowances, but for us, it was the dreaded school lunch. It became our secret weapon.
I picked up the lunch bag like it was something sinister, a motivator that had finally been unearthed. After years of searching for the best way to encourage him to comply, I had found it. Leo wasn’t a bad kid, but nothing is more irritating than a child who refuses to tidy up or do homework. So when I took away screen time or a party invite, I expected him to understand the consequences. Instead, he’d just look at me as if to say, “Is that really the worst you can do?”
Eventually, he got to work and cleaned his room. For a while, school lunch was the bane of Leo’s existence. It was a punishment that eventually extended to our younger daughter, too. Sure, some parents might say using school lunch as punishment is a terrible idea, akin to corporal punishment. Maybe I’m setting my kids up for a lifetime of food issues or teaching them to equate meals with chores.
But then, after a couple of years of wielding that threat, something unexpected happened. One day, I told Leo he’d have to eat school lunch, and he simply shrugged and replied, “That’s alright. I like school lunch.” At that moment, I felt like I’d lost my superpower. But the next day, it hit me just how significant his change was. This kid, who once shuddered at anything outside his limited menu, was now okay with school lunch.
Now in fourth grade, Leo no longer carries a packed lunch. He strolls into school and eats whatever’s on the menu. Sometimes, parenting works in unexpected ways. What started as a strategy to encourage chores turned into a breakthrough in his eating habits. I never intended for it to unfold this way, but it did. Now, I just need to figure out a new punishment for the next time he refuses to clean up.
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Summary:
In an unexpected twist of parenting fate, my son Leo, once a picky eater who dreaded school lunches, grew to accept them after I used the threat of school lunch as a punishment for chores. This approach, which seemed unlikely at first, ultimately led him to become more adventurous with food. Now, as a fourth grader, he happily eats school lunches, proving that sometimes parenting strategies can yield surprising results.