“I’d rather see kids dance than fill out a test sheet.” That was my response to a curious parent touring our unique school. We cater to children facing complex challenges, and understandably, parents come prepared with numerous questions. This particular mother was eager to learn about our assessment methods and how we track progress. My reply was intended to express my educational philosophy:
If you view education as a constant scoreboard, this isn’t the place for you.
I wasn’t dismissing her inquiry—it’s a typical concern among today’s parents. However, my goal was to emphasize that learning encompasses so much more than just academic performance, a fact that seems overshadowed in our current educational climate.
The truth is, kids haven’t fundamentally changed over the years. They remain curious, playful, naturally compassionate, and eager to explore. What has shifted dramatically are the unrealistic expectations we impose on them.
Starting from preschool and extending through elementary school, we often prioritize academic achievement at the expense of social interaction and play. This leads me to ponder: Would there be as many children diagnosed with learning differences and ADHD if our expectations and schedules weren’t so out of sync with their natural behaviors?
Today’s children are expected to be flawless. And, let’s face it, many parents feel pressured to achieve the same standard—almost 80% of us, in fact, according to recent studies. But let’s be honest: I’ve yet to meet a perfect child, and I’m certainly not a flawless parent myself.
I cherish children and the magic of childhood—that’s why I’ve dedicated myself to teaching and leading an independent school. I engage with 75 incredible kids daily—who are amazing, not perfect.
So, here’s my sage advice as both an educator and a parent: let’s stop striving for perfection in parenting. Allow yourself and your children to make mistakes. Focus less on metrics and more on the joyful experiences life has to offer.
We should honor and celebrate everything that makes our kids unique, quirks and all. Instead of fixating on their imperfections, let’s encourage them to embrace the dance of life, rather than stumbling over rigid expectations.
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In summary, it’s high time we stop chasing the myth of perfect parenting and instead embrace the rollercoaster of raising amazing kids, imperfections included.