Long before I became a parent, I was that kid—the one who realized early on that I was different. In kindergarten, I had my first crush on our temporary teacher from the local college. I was head over heels, and when she left, my heart felt like it shattered. I might not have understood the term “gay,” but the fluttery feelings I had for another girl were unmistakable. I sensed that this was something I couldn’t share; after all, girls liked boys, and boys liked girls, and that was just how it was.
I endured 13 years of school, playing sports and trying my best to be a model student, all while hiding a significant part of myself. I met many wonderful people along the way, but none provided a safe space for me to be open about my identity. My family and the surrounding culture were steeped in negativity. I heard derogatory jokes and felt the weight of unspoken condemnation for those who were different. The guilt of holding such a secret was suffocating. I feared losing friends and disappointing those I admired. That’s a heavy burden for any child to carry.
Fast forward 33 years, and while progress has been made, it’s still not enough. Technology has outpaced society’s moral compass. I’ve been able to ask my phone for directions longer than I’ve had the benefits of marriage rights or parental recognition in many parts of the U.S. Kids are still grappling with coming out as LGBTQ+, and far too many face bullying that can lead to tragic outcomes.
As parents, we can’t shield our kids from all of life’s challenges, but we can create a loving and secure environment. I’m not suggesting you drape your newborn in a rainbow blanket (though how cute would that be?), or insist your son wears pink—although that could be fun too! Rather, it’s crucial to foster an atmosphere where your children feel they can be honest with you. Encourage conversations about love and respect for LGBTQ+ friends and family. Introduce them to stories showcasing diverse families, including those with same-sex parents. Above all, communicate your unconditional love, no matter who they are or who they love.
If this feels daunting, consider this: The next time your child gives you a hug or flashes a smile (assuming they haven’t just pulled a prank that makes you want to escape with a drink), embrace them a little tighter and relish that love. Would your affection waver if they were gay? And if they came to you feeling down, would you deny them comfort because of their sexual orientation? Children deserve love and support, even the ones who might identify as LGBTQ+. They shouldn’t have to fight for your acceptance on top of everything else.
You tolerate co-workers and distant relatives at family gatherings—don’t just tolerate your child or their friends if they come out as gay. Accept and love them wholeheartedly, and help them cultivate self-acceptance too. One of our essential roles as parents is to nurture confident kids, and that confidence stems from a happy home.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out other posts on our site, like this one about intracervical insemination. And if you’re exploring options for building your family, Cryobaby offers great resources. You can also explore infertility treatment options for more information.
In summary, as parents, we have the power to create safe spaces for our children, ensuring they know they are loved unconditionally. The world can be tough, but with our support, they can face it confidently.