My daughter taps the microphone. “Are you ready?” she asks.
“Absolutely,” I reply, settling onto the couch next to our Goldendoodle, both of us bracing ourselves as Idina Menzel’s “Let It Go” loads up on the karaoke app — for the third time.
My middle-schooler shifts with excitement as the intro begins. For a fleeting moment, I let myself believe alongside her. Maybe this time, she’ll hit those notes just right, and who knows? With enough practice, she might actually become the star she dreams of being.
She belts out the first line, and my ears perk up. The dog adjusts his position at my feet. As the chorus swells, the pup shimmies away, and my daughter? The brilliant, funny, compassionate light of my life? She gives it her all, hitting some flat notes along the way.
“Was I good?” she asks, panting and flushed.
It’d be easy to lie. I’ve done it before.
“Mom, do you like this painting?”
“Like it? I love it!”
“Mom, aren’t those leaves awesome?”
“Wow, those are the coolest leaves I’ve ever seen!”
Lying can boost confidence in kids, and sometimes it feels like a parenting requirement. But is it really beneficial? Just watch any season of American Idol to see the countless kids who are blissfully unaware of their lack of talent; sometimes, honesty is crucial.
This seems like one of those moments. My daughter isn’t just singing for fun; she’s earnestly practicing for a potential Broadway audition. Aware that I’m her reflection, I choose my words with care: “It was pretty good.”
She looks at me, eyes wide. “Good enough to audition for The Voice?”
“I think you have to be 13 or older for that, right?” I deflect, even if that’s not accurate.
“You know what I mean. Good enough to be a celebrity?”
And there it is.
“Well,” I respond, trying for casualness, “everyone has a unique talent. Your singing is good, but it might not be your unique talent. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, though.”
“So you think it was terrible,” she shoots back.
“No, I’m saying everyone excels at different things. To succeed as a singer, you need to be exceptional at it.”
“Do you think if I take lessons, I could be exceptional?”
“Maybe,” I reply, wanting to hope again. I’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers and understand the 10,000 hours concept.
Years ago, in a Mommy and Me music class, a teacher—straight out of a 1960s show—shared her insights: no child is born with a good or bad voice; it’s all about exposure to music. She’d likely agree with Gladwell that the idea of a prodigy is a myth; those we call talented have often put in years of hard work.
But even if that’s true—if we can become whatever we aspire to with enough effort—do we not need some baseline talent? If I promote mediocrity in hopes of future greatness, am I not steering my child away from her natural strengths?
I loved writing in my youth, but I was terrible at it initially. The process was often grueling; yet, I persisted, clocking in my own 10,000 hours without external encouragement. Now, I’m decent at it, and I’m grateful I explored other creative paths that paid my bills along the way.
And suddenly, clarity strikes on this karaoke afternoon. I should nurture her singing as a hobby, allowing it to flourish naturally. If she’s truly passionate, she’ll keep at it, just as I did. She’ll sing along to the radio and put on living room shows, and I’ll offer her fair, loving feedback. However, to push her into voice lessons now would mean neglecting her other talents.
Then there’s the elephant in the room—her motivation.
“Let me ask you something,” I say, picking at fuzz on the couch. “Why do you want to be a celebrity?”
She shrugs. “Because everyone knows you.”
“And for what? Singing? Wouldn’t it be better to be known for something that makes a real difference, like curing diseases or helping people?”
“I can do all that when I’m famous.”
Touché.
“Okay, let me hear it one more time, and I’ll give you my honest opinion…” I lean back to listen. To my surprise, she’s improved since her last attempt.
For more insights on home insemination, check out our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. If you want to explore artificial insemination kits further, Make a Mom is an excellent resource. Additionally, you can find comprehensive information on this topic at Wikipedia.
In summary, I believe it’s important to be honest with our children about their talents. While encouragement is vital, nurturing their passions as hobbies allows them to explore their strengths without the pressure of unrealistic expectations.