When the subject of extended breastfeeding arises, you can almost hear the chorus of skeptics chiming in: “After a certain age, it’s more about the mom than the child.” Cue the laughter from every mother who has nursed a toddler or preschooler.
I nursed all three of my kids until they were just over three years old. I never planned to breastfeed that long; my approach was simply to let them decide when they were ready to stop. Growing up, my mom was a La Leche League leader and eventually became a lactation consultant herself. She told me I nursed until I was 2 ½, and I watched my younger brother nurse until he started preschool. I was well aware of the World Health Organization’s recommendation for breastfeeding for at least two years, so to me, breastfeeding beyond a year was completely normal.
I didn’t have a set timeline when I started nursing, but I can understand why nursing a 3-year-old might seem unusual. However, you don’t start out breastfeeding a 3-year-old; you begin with a newborn, and they grow from there. As they grow, the frequency naturally decreases—eventually to just once or twice a day. There’s no specific age that suddenly makes it feel strange. Sure, there were times it felt annoying or tiresome, but never weird.
The argument that extended breastfeeding is more for the mother than the child baffles me. Many mothers who practice child-led weaning often find themselves ready to stop long before their kids do. I was ready to call it quits around age 2 but my kids were still very attached to it, especially at bedtime. Abruptly stopping would have been like snatching away their favorite toy. I didn’t want to cause unnecessary stress or trauma.
The weaning process was gradual. From the moment my babies started eating solids, we began a slow transition. Initially, I would nurse when they asked, then I began to distract them or set boundaries like “we only nurse at home” or “just at bedtime now.” Over a couple of years, we established new rules to facilitate the transition. By the end, they were nursing only in the morning. The whole process was gentle and required patience.
At no point did I think, “Wow, I really want to breastfeed right now.” Early on, yes, I’d want to nurse to relieve engorgement, but beyond that, it was never about my personal desire.
People who claim that mothers who breastfeed past a year do it for their own benefit have likely never experienced nursing a toddler. We all know how demanding toddlers can be; imagine that same intensity directed at your breasts. While it can indeed be a bonding experience, it’s also a test of willpower. I didn’t dislike it, but let’s not pretend it was all sunshine and rainbows for me either. However, considering the research shows no negative impact of nursing past a year and that breast milk remains nutritious as long as a child continues to nurse, I was happy to let my kids wean at their own pace.
So no, I didn’t nurse my children past infancy because I wanted to cling to their babyhood or because I enjoyed being needed. Suggesting that a mother extends breastfeeding for her own gratification is not only misguided but also veers into unsettling territory. It’s essential to recognize that an unfamiliar practice isn’t inherently harmful or inappropriate.
Listen to the countless mothers who have breastfed well past a year and believe us when we say there is nothing strange or self-serving about it. It’s simply a natural, gradual weaning process that billions of women across cultures and history have embraced. Nothing more.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this informative post on intracervical insemination. For those looking to explore essential tools, Cryobaby’s home intracervical insemination syringe kit is a trusted resource. And if you’re on the journey of pregnancy, the March of Dimes offers incredible support and information.
In summary, breastfeeding beyond infancy is a personal choice that many mothers make based on their child’s needs, and it shouldn’t be misconstrued as a reflection of their own desires or shortcomings.