When a relationship ends and kids are involved, the complexities of custody, visitation, and financial support can be overwhelming. Each situation is unique, and every parent has their own set of challenges. Some can provide substantial financial support, while others may find themselves in more difficult circumstances.
However, one universal truth remains: if you can splurge on a designer watch, a shiny new sports car, or jet off to a tropical paradise, then you can certainly step up and support your child. No exceptions.
If you’re prioritizing luxury items over your child’s needs, it’s time for a reality check. This isn’t about gender—both mothers and fathers carry this responsibility, and it’s crucial to recognize that in 2013, one in six custodial parents was a father. This isn’t just a women’s issue; it’s about ensuring all children have their basic needs met.
I’ve witnessed friends and family struggle to provide for their children while working multiple jobs because the other parent has vanished, not just emotionally but financially as well. I remember being a broke college student while my friend was on the phone trying to delay a utility bill payment. She had to choose between keeping the lights on and buying medicine for her sick twins. That’s the harsh reality faced by many.
Yet, there are always those ready to defend the irresponsible parent. They say, “There are two sides to every story.” Yes, there are, but if you have a job and a child, it’s your duty to contribute to that child’s well-being. Period. Raising kids isn’t cheap.
If you’re not currently employed, your priority should be finding a steady job so you can help support your child. In the meantime, you might consider mowing lawns or running errands for neighbors to earn some extra cash. When you do have money, it should go towards supporting your child—whether that means buying diapers or sending money directly to the primary caregiver. That’s what responsible parents do: they adapt and find a way to make it work.
Support agreements vary, but let’s be clear: one child’s needs don’t disappear just because you’re not raking in six figures or because you have additional children. Expanding your family after a breakup is your choice, but it doesn’t exempt you from supporting the kids you already have. That excuse just doesn’t hold water.
Also, let’s establish something important: just because you’re contributing a court-mandated amount doesn’t give you the right to dictate how the custodial parent spends that money. As long as your child is well-fed, clothed, and cared for, how their primary caregiver manages finances is none of your business.
Stop thinking in terms of “my money” and start considering “my child.” It’s time to stop appearing selfish and start acting responsibly.
In summary, the bottom line is this: pay your child support. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t prepared to be a parent, if you have issues with your child’s other parent, or if you’re struggling with your own finances. Your child didn’t ask to be born, but they are here now. Whether you want to be an engaged co-parent or not, you still have a role to play. Show up, help out, and fulfill your obligations—on time, every time. Money isn’t everything, but it is the primary means for covering essentials like groceries and rent. So step up to the plate and do your part.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out our other blog posts, including this one on privacy policies.