My mother and stepfather have long identified as conservative Republicans. However, when Trump launched his campaign in 2016, my stepfather fully embraced it. My mother, on the other hand, was more ambivalent. Over the years, my stepfather has plunged deeper into Trumpism, while my mother has remained a traditional conservative.
Initially, this political divergence seemed minor, but by 2020, it felt like they inhabited entirely different worlds, especially as the United States began to shut down because of COVID-19. In their mid to late 60s, with my mother having a heart condition, they faced the pandemic differently. While she opted to stay home, my stepfather ventured out without a mask—grabbing coffee, socializing, and enjoying outdoor activities. He downplayed the pandemic as a hoax, an overreaction, or no worse than the flu, insisting that the reported COVID death toll was exaggerated.
Throughout this time, my mother urged him to stay home and keep her safe, but her pleas turned into heated arguments. She’s not the type to beg; rather, she raised her voice, making sure their neighbors likely heard their disputes over COVID precautions.
As you might guess from the title, in late November, just before Thanksgiving, my stepfather contracted COVID. The source remains uncertain—perhaps it was from the shooting range, the café he frequented, or a visit to the hardware store. Regardless, he unknowingly spread the virus to my mother.
I don’t want to generalize about marriage, but I’ve learned a crucial lesson: when your spouse warns you against certain actions and you ignore that advice, the consequences can be severe. My stepfather’s actions were undeniably selfish, but I can’t overlook the influence of the deeply conservative media he consumes daily and the rhetoric from our former president. I’ve known him for nearly two decades; he’s a decent person who cares for his family and neighbors, serving as a father figure to me in many ways.
This situation mirrors what countless families are navigating today, grappling with relatives whose beliefs have been warped by Trumpism and conservative media—pushing the narrative that this deadly virus is either a hoax or exaggerated. It’s forcing us to reassess our relationships with those who, until 2020, were genuinely good people. They may still be decent, but their choices, fueled by misinformation, can jeopardize lives and marriage.
Fortunately, both my parents are recovering from COVID. A friend asked me if I thought this experience would change my stepfather’s views on the virus. After some reflection, I realized that unless one of them faces severe consequences, I doubt it will change his mind. He might say, “I had it, and I recovered, so clearly I was right about it being no worse than a cold.”
Honestly, having my parents hospitalized because of COVID isn’t worth altering one man’s opinion. The very idea that it would take such a drastic situation for him to reconsider his stance on a virus responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans within a year is deeply concerning. Sadly, many Americans with conservative parents are facing similar dilemmas.
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