In a recent social experiment, author and activist Zara Lane took to Twitter to challenge women to respond to compliments in an unexpected way. “I dare you to annoy a man today,” she tweeted. “Just agree with his compliment about you.”
At first, you might wonder, “What’s the big deal in simply acknowledging a compliment?” But the reactions can be quite telling. Zara shared with Buzzfeed News, “It’s an age-old concept, yet in my experience, when a man praises me and I reply with, ‘I know,’ it tends to upset him.” It seems that men often feel they have the privilege to give compliments, while women should remain unaware of their own worth.
Yes, it’s a significant issue — one that reveals a larger societal tendency for some men to want to maintain control. The discomfort some men display when a woman confidently accepts a compliment indicates a shift in power dynamics, and let’s be honest: no one likes feeling their authority challenged.
Women began chiming in, sharing their own similar experiences. In 2015, inspired by some rather unpleasant interactions on the Instagram page “Bye Felipe,” Emily Grant initiated a project called “Agreeing with Guys When They Compliment You.” After posting about her findings, many women submitted their stories to Emily’s Twitter account, @empoweredvoices.
The pattern is almost surreal: a man gives a compliment, a woman acknowledges her own merit, and the man flips out. Why? Because calling these comments genuine compliments would be like labeling street harassment as flattery. It’s manipulation, not admiration.
“This is my overarching statement: Just because you don’t see it or experience it yourself doesn’t mean it’s not happening,” Zara explained. “When men say, ‘Not all men,’ they focus on their personal experiences and ignore what women are conveying.” She added, “It’s crucial to listen to women’s voices and understand their realities.”
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In summary, when a woman confidently accepts a compliment, it can trigger unexpected reactions from men. This phenomenon highlights the broader issue of power dynamics and societal expectations regarding gender roles.