On Those Days When You Just Can’t Keep It Together

home insemination Kit

Let’s face it: sometimes we just lose it. It’s a fact of life for all parents, and while my version of “losing it” might differ from yours, we all have those moments where we reach our limits. Factors like money worries, relationship troubles, or work stress can all chip away at our patience, making it even harder when our kids test us.

Today was that day for me.

After a sleepless night, my household was in chaos. The baby decided breakfast belonged on the floor, the dog made an unexpected mess, the toddler turned into a milk-spilling machine, the kitten was nowhere to be found, and my oldest turned her entire wardrobe into a disaster zone, declaring everything unwearable.

Finally, everyone was dressed, only to discover my car keys were missing. As I frantically searched for them, the boys jumped right into the muddy sandbox, just after I had cleaned them up.

In the midst of this madness, the doorbell rang. My oldest let in a well-meaning visitor spreading the good word, and in the process, she inadvertently set the dogs free. While I was managing the chaos, my naked baby thought it a good time to throw snacks everywhere and dance in the mess.

With everyone finally back inside, I surveyed the wreckage and realized we weren’t making it out of the house on time—if at all. The kids were not in the right mood for public outings. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, my husband called to say our bank account might have been compromised. Oh, and by the way, my grandpa was in the hospital.

And that was it. I lost my sh*t. There was yelling, some choice words, tears, and a few doors were slammed. It wasn’t my proudest moment. I declared the rest of the day a write-off.

Afterward, the guilt hit. It’s the heavy cloak of motherhood that weighs down on us. Initially, frustration masks the guilt, but it always arrives uninvited. We replay our actions in our minds, imagining the hurt in our children’s eyes, and our hearts break. We wish we could take it all back, especially as we still have to keep the day moving forward.

Then, of course, the kids refused to nap. They fought it tooth and nail, and all I wanted was a moment to breathe and regain my sanity. But the nap wasn’t happening, which sent me spiraling again. More tears slipped out this time, but I quickly wiped them away while ordering takeout and prepping for baths.

Once the baths were done and we settled down for storytime, I felt the waves of love wash over me, despite the chaotic day. Their little heads smelled like their favorite shampoo, and I couldn’t focus on the story because I was overwhelmed with affection for these little beings I created. I longed for a chance to start over tomorrow, to share joy and laughter, and to push aside the nagging worries about bills and stress.

We want to cherish these beautiful souls who have the uncanny ability to push all our buttons, and we know they need to see us as flawed humans. We have to model what it means to mess up, apologize, and move on.

Yes, we all lose it sometimes. We feel guilty, but we also need to own it, even when anger is still simmering. That’s parenthood: you stumble, you break down, and you get back up, ready to embrace a new day. Tomorrow is another chance for us, and for them, to be alright.

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