Mike Pence’s Decision to Avoid Meeting Women Alone Is Concerning: Here’s Why

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It’s 2023, yet we find ourselves engaged in a national discussion about whether it is appropriate for a man to be alone with a woman who isn’t his spouse. This debate reignited after a profile of Vice President Mike Pence’s wife, Lisa, highlighted that he “never dines alone with a woman other than his wife and avoids events with alcohol unless she is present.” Additionally, Pence has stated that any staff member who stays late to assist him must be male.

The online discourse split sharply, with some arguing that his stance reflects misogyny and gender bias, while others defended it as a principled stand for marriage. Among conservative circles, particularly those influenced by religious beliefs, this practice is often referred to as the Billy Graham Rule—a guideline that discourages men from engaging with women alone due to perceived risks of temptation. Graham famously stated that he would not travel, meet, or eat alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife. In 2015, The Atlantic noted that female staffers working under male legislators who adhere to this rule frequently find themselves excluded from private discussions, car rides, and evening events.

While I have no intention of commenting on the personal dynamics between Lisa and Mike Pence, which appear to be strong and respectful, I am concerned about the broader implications of Pence’s behavior.

This marriage rule reinforces outdated stereotypes about both men and women that ultimately harm women’s professional advancement and negatively impact future generations. Such reasoning implies that female colleagues are primarily viewed as potential distractions or temptresses, while men are portrayed as lacking self-control without their spouses present. Both notions are demeaning and restrictive.

As a parent to a son and a daughter, I do not want my son to approach interactions with women through a lens of suspicion or to see them merely as potential sources of temptation. Conversely, I want my daughter to understand that she can form meaningful professional relationships with men without being reduced to a sexual object.

Moreover, this rule severely limits women’s professional opportunities. Women working in male-dominated fields would be denied access to essential experiences like business dinners, private meetings, and mentorship sessions. A colleague in the scientific community expressed her concern, stating, “If my boss couldn’t meet one-on-one with me, I wouldn’t be able to perform my job effectively. I regularly have project updates and performance reviews that require individual meetings.”

Discriminatory practices like this may even violate workplace laws. Employers are prohibited from treating employees differently based on gender. An employment attorney noted that working dinners could be deemed opportunities that both sexes must equally access. Legal analysts confirm that gender-based double standards in professional contexts can often amount to discrimination. While Pence may believe his approach minimizes the risk of infidelity or accusations of misconduct, it ultimately fails to acknowledge the realities of women’s professional lives.

Women have long faced barriers in the workplace. In 2023, they should not be excluded from meetings or events for fear of tempting male colleagues. Working women deserve equitable treatment, and our daughters deserve a future free from such limitations.

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In summary, Mike Pence’s avoidance of alone time with women raises significant concerns about gender stereotypes and professional inequities, reflecting outdated views that could hinder women’s opportunities in the workplace.