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I’m Always Exhausted, Yet I Refuse to Sacrifice My Late-Night ‘Me Time’
Having children was a conscious choice for me, fully aware that I would be needed, perhaps more than I ever imagined. The reality of keeping another life thriving is a demanding task for both the body and mind. Despite this, I chose to expand my family further, fully aware of the diminishing free time ahead. It’s all part of the journey we embrace for our children and loved ones.
Some days, the constant demands don’t faze me at all. I understand that the neediness of kids will fluctuate; they will always look to their parents for guidance. Yet, as they grow, their focus will shift toward friendships and writing their own narratives. While I know this is part of their development, there are moments when the weight of their dependence feels overwhelming.
The idea of indulging in a cherished hobby without interruptions—be it requests for help with homework, searching for a Band-Aid for a minor scrape, or juggling dinner preparations—often seems like a distant dream. At times, I yearn for the solitude of my car or even a nearby hotel room to rediscover myself. I don’t need lengthy periods; just a brief check-in with my own identity would be refreshing. After over 13 years of motherhood, I’ve learned that spending time with myself is essential, regardless of how fatigued I may feel or how hectic my family’s schedule might be.
This is why, on recent nights, while my family rested peacefully, I found myself awake, chatting with a friend on social media. The night before that, I fought sleep to immerse myself in a captivating novel. Sure, I could have surrendered to slumber, but the serenity of silence, wrapped in my cozy comforter, while glancing at the moon through my window made it all worthwhile.
I’ve stayed up late crafting quilts, binge-watching home improvement shows until the early hours, and tackling home projects when the house is quiet. The satisfaction of completing a task without distractions is exhilarating.
Every weekend morning, I choose between lingering in bed while the sun rises or stepping outside for a rejuvenating run. I relish the solitude, allowing my thoughts to roam as my kids enjoy their rest. I can wander at my own pace, pausing to appreciate nature, and return home feeling revitalized. I’ve realized that I am a better version of myself when I prioritize this ‘me time’ over sleep. I’ve tried catching up on rest before, only to find myself still drained. Now, I choose to feel “refreshed” instead.
I cherish the fact that my children rely on me; it’s a fundamental aspect of motherhood that I excel at. Yet, I also recognize that I need to nurture myself. I must reconnect with who I was before motherhood, a person who still exists and deserves to be acknowledged.
For me, this connection happens at night after the kids are tucked in, granting me the house to myself and the freedom to breathe. If you’re curious about more insights into this journey, check out this blog post for further exploration. For those seeking guidance on their fertility journey, Make a Mom offers valuable resources, while IVF Babble is an excellent place to find information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Balancing motherhood with personal time is crucial for well-being. Taking time for oneself, even in small moments, can lead to renewed energy and a better connection with family. Embracing late-night solitude can help mothers reconnect with their identities, making them more engaged and loving parents.