9 Things I Regularly Do to Deter Judgment as a Mom

I don’t set out to appear as a negligent mother. Each morning, I don’t wake up thinking, “How can I mess up my kids today?” But the internet is a harsh place, and I’ve been in the trenches of the mommy wars long enough to know that if I don’t do everything flawlessly, I’m deemed unworthy of my children. The reality? I’m not harming them; I’m just navigating the everyday absurdities of parenting. Still, I can’t shake the worry that real-life people may judge me. Here’s how I keep the mom judgment at bay.

1. Your Judgment on My Kids’ Faces

Sure, my kids might have remnants of chocolate or peanut butter smeared around their mouths. I meant to clean them up, but life happened—lost shoes, dogs escaping, and flower-picking adventures distracted me. By the time we arrived at the store, I realized I forgot the wipes. Yes, they may look a bit scruffy, but trust me, they’re well-loved.

2. Your Judgment When My Kids Run in Target

Kids are naturally curious and energetic, and that means they run—especially when excited. Toss in a tantrum over a toy, and I receive glares from older shoppers and unsolicited offers of help. Honestly, I don’t need assistance in managing my kids’ energy; it’s just how they are.

3. Your Judgment of My Kids Going to the Bathroom Alone

My 7-year-old can responsibly help his 5-year-old brother in the restroom, but some stores still announce that kids should stay with their parents. “What’s ‘bitch’?” my son asked after I mentioned that we should ignore those comments. Oh boy, the joys of parenting.

4. Your Judgment When My Kids Stay in the Car for a Minute

I often need to grab gas, and rather than unbuckle the kids and risk a meltdown across the parking lot, I let them stay in the car for a moment. I ensure it’s cool and locked, and I watch them from the store. Yes, it’s a short time, but I still worry about being judged.

5. Your Judgment on My Kids’ Outfits

Fashion isn’t always a priority in our house. My youngest loves a Zootopia shirt that may have “girl” sleeves, and my middle son’s superhero shirt doesn’t exactly match. You might assume he picked his clothes, but that’s not the case. Judge away!

6. Your Judgment of My 3-Year-Old’s Bumps and Bruises

Kids are accident-prone, and my youngest has had his share of tumbles. He’s got a bandage for each mishap, resulting in a face that resembles a battle zone. But he’s fine; it’s just part of being a kid.

7. Your Judgment When I Yell in Target

With one baby in the cart and two boys running around, I often find myself shouting reminders not to touch everything. Yes, I know it sounds harsh, but I’m just trying to keep them from causing chaos in the store.

8. Your Judgment of My Kids’ Meals

Their meals may consist of snacks rather than balanced dishes. They’ve been known to have leftover fried rice for breakfast or fast-food fries for lunch. Some parents might be horrified, but I know they’ll eat it, and that’s what matters.

9. Your Judgment of My 3-Year-Old Peeing Outside

When nature calls, it calls loudly. My little one might pull down his pants in public to relieve himself, and while it might not be socially acceptable, it’s a necessity. I make my older son hold it, but sometimes life just happens.

I’m aware that judgment is inevitable, and it’s not a reflection of my parenting skills. I know I’m doing a great job. My kids eat their greens, enjoy educational games, and we create art together. I may not be perfect, but my children are happy, and that’s what truly counts.

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Summary

In the world of parenting, judgment is a constant companion. From the state of my kids’ appearances to their behavior in public, I navigate the challenges of motherhood while knowing that happiness is what truly matters for my family. I embrace the chaos and imperfections, ensuring my children are well-loved and cared for above all.