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- The Struggle of Preschool Drop-Off
by Lucy Adams
May 16, 2023
I can picture my 5-year-old, Mia, lying in her little bed each morning, concocting ways to make preschool drop-off as challenging for me as possible. She probably thinks, “Should I go for dramatic clinging or icy indifference today? Oh, I know! I’ll just tell the teachers that my mom had the most embarrassing moment while we were watching TV last night, right in front of them.” There must be some mischievous planning behind her antics to turn each drop-off into an emotional rollercoaster.
Mia has attended the same preschool for three days a week with the same teachers for the past two and a half years. She knows the routine well. Yet, every day, as I prepare to leave, I’m left guessing what her reaction will be. It’s almost like she’s playing a game with me, reminiscent of my high school romance. Does she love me so deeply that she can’t stand to be apart, or is she indifferent to my presence? I just can’t tell!
Mondays are particularly rough. And let me tell you, I’m no rookie at this drop-off game. I always stick to the plan, keeping a kind yet firm demeanor, and I never look sad. “I’m not going to cry today,” she declares confidently during our car ride.
“Great!” I respond, not believing her at all, having heard that declaration every Monday for the last two hundred weeks. “Neither of us will cry because we know we’ll see each other soon, and both of us will have so much fun!” I try to elevate mundane tasks to sound exciting.
I know it’s going to be a tough morning when I see her face crumple as I prepare to leave. It’s as if she thinks that this time, if she cries hard enough, I might stay. “But you love school!” I urge as she wraps her tiny arms around my leg like an octopus. And no matter how much I want to dismiss it as a show, when those tears start flowing and she says, “But I’ll miss you,” I’m tempted to scoop her up and run away. But her caring teacher manages to peel her off of me, taking her back to the playroom while I close the door, leaving me to nurse my heartache.
Despite the emotional toll, I continue to bring her to preschool because I know it’s important for her development—and honestly, I need a breather too. I’ve dubbed Wednesdays “Bribery Rejuvenation Day.” “I promise I won’t cry if you bring me brownies after school,” she says.
“Now I have to bribe you not to cry?” I reply, pondering how long she’s been scheming to manipulate this situation. “I think it’ll work,” she insists. And yes, I’m guilty of sometimes bringing her freshly baked brownies, so go ahead and judge me! I’ll do anything to avoid that heart-wrenching feeling I experience on Mondays.
By Friday, she barely acknowledges my presence. She strolls in and immediately dives into some art project, acting like I’m invisible. “Can I at least get a wave? A smile? Some acknowledgment for teaching you how to talk and use the bathroom?” It’s frustrating! After all the sacrifices I made, including nine months of abstaining from wine and deli meats, it feels so underappreciated. I’m glad she’s not crying, but a little recognition would be nice. Talk about mixed signals!
Often, I try to discuss my preschool drop-off feelings with her at home, but I’m not sure either of us gains much from it. She believes I should bribe her with treats more often, while I think she’s expertly playing my emotions. I know I may be handling this all wrong, but for now, I’ll just keep bribing her.
Next year, she’ll be taking the bus to kindergarten. That should be interesting.
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Summary:
Navigating preschool drop-off can be a daily emotional challenge for parents. Each morning is unpredictable, with children oscillating between clinging to their parents and acting indifferent. Despite the heartache, parents recognize the importance of preschool for their kids’ development and often resort to creative tactics, like bribery, to ease the transition. As the journey continues into kindergarten, the dynamics shift even more, leaving parents to adapt to new routines.