As a single mother, the most precious asset I’ve cultivated is the network of supportive individuals surrounding my child and me — our own little village. In the early days, when my son was just a baby, I primarily associated with other stay-at-home moms from local playgroups and parks. While they were wonderful, I soon recognized that our experiences diverged significantly. They couldn’t fully grasp the challenges I faced as a solo parent, and I began to feel resentment. They were happily married, while I was navigating the aftermath of a long-term relationship that had failed. I realized I needed friends who truly understood my journey — other single mothers like myself.
As my son grew, I found myself gravitating towards long-time friends who had been with me through various life stages, both before and after motherhood. They were familiar with my story and always ready to listen to my frustrations about my ex-partner or share in my exhaustion. I appreciated that my son could join our dinners without any judgment, as he wasn’t comfortable being away from me for long periods. Those moments of connection were vital for my well-being, and having the option to bring him along made all the difference.
My closest friend, Mia, has a child the same age as mine and lives just a few minutes away. She has always been my go-to friend — the one who listens to my rants, validates my feelings, and empathizes with my struggles. Although she couldn’t fully understand the nuances of being a single mom, the bond we shared was much stronger than what I felt with other mothers.
Mia has also been candid about her own difficulties. So when she confided that she and her husband were contemplating separation, I felt genuine sadness for her and her child. But I couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope that we could lean on each other as single parents. I didn’t wish for her marriage to end, but if it was happening, then at least we could support one another through the ups and downs of single parenthood.
These days, our lives resemble those carefree single days, only now we swap wedding shows for children’s programs like Bubble Guppies. Living close by allows us to grab a quick drink whenever we need a break from the chaos of parenting. Our friendship has become a lifesaver, especially in the often isolating world of solo parenting.
Having known each other for so long, we share a unique understanding of each other’s past relationships. When our exes act foolishly, we become each other’s petty police. Is it immature? Perhaps. But it strengthens our bond. She’ll leave snarky comments on my ex’s social media, while I’ll drop subtle jabs about hers when he’s around. We have each other’s backs, plain and simple.
Mia has been encouraging me to venture into dating, even though I’ve repeatedly told her that I’m not ready. With my current living situation involving my parents and my child, it complicates things. Meanwhile, she has dipped her toes back into the dating pool — so typical of her — and I find myself living vicariously through her humorous misadventures. I’ve become her Cyrano de Bergerac, and it’s nice to revisit those playful roles we had before kids.
But I’ve also been there for her during tough times. Divorce is hard, and she often needs a shoulder to lean on. I completely understand the feeling of burnout, so I offer to watch her kids while she takes a much-needed break or attends job interviews. The mutual support we provide each other is invaluable, and it feels even more significant now that we’re navigating single parenting together.
I don’t want to romanticize single parenthood; it’s incredibly challenging. The loneliness can be overwhelming. Building a circle of trustworthy friends who truly understand my situation has been crucial for my mental health. I’ve been fortunate to find a few friends who get it — and me.
On Facebook, I’ve also discovered an amazing support group where I’ve forged lasting connections. The camaraderie I feel among them is palpable because many have faced similar struggles. Being able to talk with someone who has experienced the same hurdles is something you don’t realize you need until you have it. When I’m at my breaking point and need reassurance, having that friend who reminds me that I can get through it is priceless.
The members of my tribe show up for me, support me, and love me, which is incredibly refreshing. They are the family I’ve chosen, and I’m so thankful for their presence in my life. As I often say, “We single moms must stick together.” And indeed, we do.
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In summary, my circle of single mom friends has become an essential part of my life, providing emotional support, understanding, and companionship. Together, we navigate the challenges of single parenting, and I’m grateful for every moment spent with this incredible group.