No parent wants to be called aside by a teacher with the words, “Can I speak with you for a moment… privately?” As I watch my son happily play with his friends, I can’t help but feel a knot forming in my stomach as I follow his preschool teacher out of the room. Other parents stroll by, chatting cheerfully with their little ones, while I find myself awkwardly backed against a wall, trying to steady my racing heart.
“There was a biting incident today,” the teacher says, and the look of empathy on her face tells me everything I need to know. My son is the one who bit another child. I stand there, speechless, feeling a wave of emotions wash over me. This is my first experience with a child who has bitten someone, and I’m caught off guard. It’s not just embarrassment I’m feeling, but a significant sense of shame.
How did I end up as the parent of a biter? What am I doing wrong? There are moments in parenthood when you feel like you’ve been doing everything right, only to have your child’s behavior make you second-guess yourself. While every age comes with its own set of challenges, biting is particularly distressing during the preschool years.
Despite the fact that my son is loving, polite, and shares well, he is now labeled as “The Biter,” and I am “The Biter’s Mom.” When your child exhibits such behavior, it often feels like the ultimate parenting failure. We tend to internalize our children’s actions, viewing them as a reflection of our own parenting abilities. A simple misstep, like forgetting to say “thank you” or, in this case, biting, leads us to question our effectiveness as parents.
As an experienced mom, I know that such behavior typically signals that a child is struggling with emotional regulation or testing boundaries. They may be feeling overwhelmed by their emotions or a specific situation. Biting is often a physical expression of frustration. After all, toddlers are learning to navigate a world full of new experiences—language, social interactions, and even potty training. Some days, it all becomes too much, and they might resort to using their teeth instead of words.
The American Psychological Association states that biting is a common developmental phase for children under three. This knowledge should ease my mind, but it doesn’t, nor does it alleviate the discomfort felt by the other child’s parent. Social expectations can be tough to bear, and while many parents understand that children misbehave, biting seems to come with a unique stigma.
Finally managing to find my voice, I apologize to the teacher and express that we emphasize communication with our child. I seek to explain that my outgoing, cheerful 2-year-old means no harm. I ask about the incident, eager to defend my son. The teacher explains that during a line-up, another child accidentally pushed him, causing him to bite in frustration. While this context offers some clarity, it does little to diminish my feelings of shame.
When I return to the classroom, I find my son diligently stacking blocks. “Mama!” he exclaims, running to me. “I was sad today.” My heart aches for him. “I know, sweetheart,” I respond gently, caressing his hair. Despite my own guilt, I refuse to let it taint his perception of himself. He is a 2-year-old learning and growing, and my role is to guide him with love, helping him make better choices.
Next, I must reach out to the other child’s mom. A little understanding from another parent can ease the burden we place on ourselves. If you’re on a similar journey, you might find valuable insights in related articles like this one on home insemination kits.
Summary:
Dealing with a child who bites can be a challenging experience for any parent. Feelings of shame and embarrassment often arise, but it’s important to remember that biting is a normal developmental behavior for toddlers. Understanding the reasons behind such actions can help parents navigate these situations more effectively. By offering guidance and support, parents can help their children learn to express their emotions in healthier ways.