My children and I could easily be mistaken for vampires. We don’t shimmer in the sunlight; instead, we embody the ghostly pallor of cave dwellers who have been shielded from the sun for generations.
My heritage traces back to Eastern Europe, specifically around the Carpathian Mountains, while my partner, Jake, hails from England and Scotland. Our lineage is decidedly fair-skinned. I once participated in a “pale contest” in college, where it came down to me and my Irish boyfriend. He had a smattering of brown freckles on his otherwise milky skin, but I triumphed unanimously. Jake, on the other hand, often sports bizarre tan lines, like those pesky marks from his shirt cuffs or the imprint of his sunglasses on his nose.
So it’s no surprise that my children started life as bright red, wailing bundles resembling bologna. They maintained this fiery hue throughout their newborn phase, eventually fading to their natural skin tones around six months—right in time for summer, which sent me into a shopping frenzy. By “frenzy,” I mean I went on a shopping spree. At that time, only Boden offered sets of rash guards and pants, so Mini Boden became our go-to. My kids were more covered at the beach than they were at church.
As they grew, I amassed a collection of Mini Boden swimwear, and they wore these outfits until they practically fell apart, being handed down from one boy to the next. My youngest two still wear them occasionally. I’ve relaxed my rules a bit now; since my oldest kneels while kayaking, I let him wear regular swim shorts—but he must always don a long-sleeved rash guard, even in the heat of South Carolina summer. For us, swimming often requires more clothing than it does shedding layers.
My little bologna loafs were also born without hair, taking forever to grow any—at least a year for each child. This meant I was either smothering their bare heads in sunscreen or making them wear hats. And heaven forbid I miss an ear! So, since none of them were actually going into the water, and spent most of their time on the shore playing in the sand, hats became essential. Not the standard baby bucket hats, though—those were too warm. I opted for stylish straw fedoras from Target, which they quickly learned to keep on. I mean, who wants a sunburn, right? Thus, I established a rule: hats were mandatory, or they’d be sent indoors. Our collection of hats expanded wildly, from gray to straw to blue dinosaur designs. Baseball caps were a no-go, as they failed to shield their necks. Eventually, they accepted the hats as a necessary evil, even if they sometimes itched (a recurring complaint from my oldest).
On top of all that, I still have to slather the kids in sunscreen. I mean, it’s essential to cover their hands, legs, and, most importantly, their feet. If I neglect their feet, they end up with painful sandal-shaped sunburns, which nobody enjoys. We always apply sunscreen to their backs and sides, too. I’m the mom who buys new water shoes from Target instead of recycling last year’s sandals. And if they decide to go barefoot? They’d better stay clear of direct sunlight.
We always apply sunscreen at least 20 minutes before heading outside. I know I might be the most overprotective mom around, but I don’t care. We use high-quality, fragrance-free sunscreen with minimal chemicals, designed for babies and worth every penny. I believe in taking the natural route, especially since I’m applying it to them several times a day. We also stick to SPF 60+. According to Dr. Steven Q. Wang, MD, from the Skin Cancer Foundation, the difference above SPF 50 is minimal, but I feel reassured by that higher number.
After ensuring the kids are protected, it’s my turn. I rely on a moisturizing sunscreen for my face and wear a long-sleeved cover-up over my swimsuit. I make sure to apply sunscreen all the way down to my bikini line and between my toes because burnt feet from sandal thongs are no joke. Last year, I managed to get through summer with only one tan line on my neck, and this year, I’m determined to maintain my ghostly glow for the entire season.
Honestly, I wish I could tan; I find it quite attractive, even with my stretch marks. However, my dad has had more melanoma removed than I can count, and my husband’s grandfather has a similar history. They both spent too much time in the sun without protection. It runs in our families and, worst of all, it’s in my kids’ genes too. I refuse to let them develop melanoma due to my negligence in applying sunscreen, so my vigilance about sun protection is unwavering. As long as I can find shade, I’m committed to keeping them burn-free.
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Summary:
In this humorous reflection, Emily shares her experiences of parenting kids who resemble vampires due to their pale skin, combined with her overzealous approach to sun protection. From shopping for protective swimwear to ensuring her children wear hats and sunscreen, she details her commitment to preventing sunburns and maintaining their health. With a nod to family history, she emphasizes the importance of sun safety while also wishing for a tan.