There are those moments when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, “Not too shabby.” Then there are times I see my reflection while tackling a household chore—like scrubbing a mess off the toilet or scraping dried toothpaste off the sink—and I gasp, “Yikes! You went out looking like that?” More often than not, it’s the latter.
But nothing can make me cringe quite like a disastrous haircut. Thankfully, I have a stylist who works wonders with my hair every three months, and for about a day, I feel fabulous. Yet, I’ve had my share of unfortunate haircuts. Who hasn’t? The infamous Haircut From Hell is a common experience for many children, and parents inevitably face the fallout when their little ones decide to experiment with scissors.
Having two sons and no daughters, I thought I might be spared from the tears and trauma of haircuts. Alas, that was not the case.
A few years ago, I took my eldest son, Tyler, to a local salon for his semi-annual trim. He prefers his hair longer, and I must admit, we only have the energy for this twice a year. He complained and moaned, and I reminded him that he has the freedom to choose his hairstyle, but personal grooming is a must. That means an occasional haircut to get rid of those pesky split ends.
Once seated, we both launched into the “just a trim” speech to the stylist. I settled my younger son, Max, into another chair across the salon and kept an eye on him as he got his trim. A few moments later, the stylist leaned over to whisper, “I think Tyler isn’t happy.”
Of course he wasn’t! Haircuts are never enjoyable for him. But when I approached him, I found him in tears—real, heart-wrenching sobs. “We asked for just a trim!” he cried, clearly distressed.
As the stylist stepped away, Tyler continued to express his frustration, “She cut off so much!” My heart sank as I recognized the source of his anguish. She had taken off way more than we intended. I wanted to cry too.
Tyler’s tears flowed as the stylist finished up, and he sobbed all the way home. “I know it’s tough,” I consoled him. “We’ve all been there.”
“No! No one has ever had a haircut this terrible! I want my old hair back!” he shouted.
“Trust me; we’ve all had a bad haircut at some point,” I reassured him.
“NO, NOT LIKE THIS! YOU’RE LYING!” he retorted.
“Well, at least you didn’t lose a limb,” I suggested, trying to provide some perspective. This was not helpful, and he remained inconsolable.
When we got home, he dashed upstairs, pulled his hood over his head, and locked himself in his room. A friend arrived shortly after, but Tyler refused to come out.
“I don’t want him to see me! I’m never going to school again!” he wailed.
“I think he needs some time,” I whispered to his friend from outside the door.
My husband entered and attempted to lighten the mood with jokes about his own baldness. But it was the age-old advice that finally coaxed Tyler out from his hiding place: “It’ll grow back.”
I wish I could say that was the last time tears were shed over his hair. About a year and a half later, Tyler, now fully back to his long hair, decided he wanted a drastic change.
“Are you really sure?” I asked repeatedly, anxious about the potential for tears.
“Yes, I’m sure!” he insisted. After a couple of days of convincing, we returned to that same salon where his tears had flowed 18 months prior. The stylist cut off a good 6 to 8 inches, leaving a pile of curls on the floor.
As I stared at the clump of hair, I realized how much he had grown. Who was this almost-tween? Where had my little boy gone? I found myself on the brink of tears while watching this transformation unfold in the salon.
But when I looked up, Tyler’s radiant smile wiped away my sadness. “I love it!” he exclaimed. “I absolutely love it, Mom!”
If he’s happy, then I’m happy, I thought. He looked great, as always. As we navigate this new phase of his life, I’ll sometimes need to guide him and other times, I’ll follow his lead. So, I smiled and said, “I’m so glad you like it. It looks fantastic.” Even if I was internally reminding myself, “It’ll grow back.”
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Summary
Haircuts can be a source of emotional turmoil for kids, often leading to tears and meltdowns. As parents, we navigate these emotional experiences while trying to support our children’s choices, all while reflecting on their growth and changes. In the end, it’s about finding happiness in their decisions, even when we want to hold onto the past.