12 Reasons Why Reality TV is Not for Me: A Parental Perspective

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As I navigate the delightful chaos of raising three energetic boys, I often find myself thinking, “This could be a hit reality show!” However, the reality of such a situation would lead me to a resounding NO. Here’s why:

1. Fashion Freedom: My children often embrace the idea that clothing is optional within the comfort of our home.
2. Boys Will Be Boys: With three sons, their conversations frequently revolve around bodily functions. For example, my older boys think it’s hilarious to ask their younger brother, “What is half poodle and half poodle?” to which he gleefully responds, “Poo Poo!”
3. Where’s the Baby?: There are moments when I completely lose track of my toddler while I’m busy with chores. One minute I’m washing dishes, and the next, he’s either filling the toilet with wet wipes or scaling the top bunk. If this were aired, it might attract a visit from Child Protective Services (CPS). I usually take precautions, like securing the bathroom doors and removing the ladder after he wakes up.
4. Adventurous Toddler: On occasion, I do know where my toddler is—standing atop a kitchen counter after pushing a chair over. And yes, I’m often there capturing the moment on camera.
5. Volume Control: Our household is anything but tranquil. The noise level can be overwhelming, especially when one child is particularly loud. At times, I can feel my eardrums vibrating! And bedtime? Forget about quiet; last night, one of my kids shouted “Mamamaaaamammmmaaaama!” repeatedly for two minutes before offering a sweet “I love you, Mom,” which softens the chaos.
6. Lego Land: My children adore playing with Legos, which is fantastic for their creativity. However, Legos are scattered throughout the house. The formal dining room, once intended for elegant gatherings, has transformed into a Lego haven—if only they stayed contained. I’d be mortified if cameras caught me vacuuming them up.
7. Pajama School Runs: Frequently, I drop my oldest at school still in my pajamas, often with the little ones in similar attire. Just last week, my middle child went to school wearing only underwear—again, clothing is optional.
8. Reality vs. Sweet Moments: While cameras might capture the tender moments, like when my middle son lovingly pats his baby brother’s face, the editing room would likely focus on the chaos, such as the morning scramble when I’m yelling, “Where are your shoes? Brush your teeth! Hurry up!”
9. Unusual Breakfast Choices: Breakfast at our house can be quite unconventional. My middle child often requests popcorn or even fish for breakfast.
10. Frequent Plumbing Issues: I find myself reaching for the plunger almost daily; whether it’s due to wet wipes or an assortment of toys in the toilet, it’s a regular occurrence.
11. Limited Cleanliness: My home is only “company clean” for about four hours each month, thanks to a housekeeper who comes twice a month. However, I must clean before she arrives, which is a feat in itself. As a result, the house rarely reaches a level of cleanliness suitable for television.
12. The Lock-In Incident: Once, I locked my oldest son in the car along with my phone while shopping. Thankfully, a kind stranger called the fire department, and my son was safe and sound after a brief wait. Reflecting on that moment, especially during a time when celebrities like Britney Spears were facing public scrutiny, I felt fortunate not to have cameras documenting my every move.

What kind of moments would unfold if cameras were rolling in your household?

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Summary: The prospect of reality TV in a household full of boys is an entertaining thought but, in reality, it would reveal the chaos, noise, and unexpected challenges of parenting rather than the sweet moments. It’s a whirlwind of noise, unconventional meals, and constant vigilance that would make for an entertaining show—but not one I’d want to be part of.