Ready to invest an hour finding swimsuits, towels, flip-flops, and snacks, topped off with another hour applying sunscreen on every inch of your child’s sensitive skin, only to hear them complain about boredom after just 12 minutes? If so, you’re all set for a trip to the water!
Whether it’s a pool or a beach, the joys of swimming as a parent are few and far between. Want to relax while the kids splash around? Not a chance. Our primary role (aside from breaking up fights over pool floats or comforting a little one devastated by a sandcastle collapse) is to ensure their safety. We must supervise every nerve-wracking moment and cheer them on for every mediocre handstand attempted in the shallow end. Honestly, it can make us long for the cooler days of September (though maybe not that much; check back with us in late July). Thankfully, the witty parents on Twitter understand our plight.
- Reality Check.
We want the water to mingle with us, but only when we say so, kiddo. - grits teeth
“When can we leave?” – every child just 10 minutes after entering the pool. Brace yourself for a long summer. - Hush, Neighbor Kid.
To my children, the community pool is closed for repairs until 2022. Anyone who spills that secret will face consequences. - Simplifying the Beach.
The beach offers a treasure trove of curiosities for kids: cigarette butts, empty cans, and broken glass — it’s like Ariel’s collection, but with the added risk of hepatitis. How enchanting! - A Prayer for Patience.
Listen up, fellow parents: if your child manages to go an entire hour at the pool or beach without announcing a bathroom need, they’re taking care of business elsewhere. Just saying. - A Stressful Mix.
Combine a toddler who can’t swim with a vast, inviting pool, and you have a recipe for heart-pounding anxiety and constant worry. - Not in Charge.
Here’s a tip: use the teenage lifeguard as your scapegoat. Kids will listen to strangers far more than to you. “Don’t run or Miss Jessica will kick you out! Mommy loves you!” - Zen-Like State.
Why are restrooms at American beaches so far apart? It’s almost as if they expect kids to pee in the ocean. Oh wait, they are. And nothing is less relaxing than dragging a four-year-old half a mile while they scream, “BUT I NEED TO POOP NOWWWW!” - Realistic Expectations.
It’s probably 97% about keeping them entertained and 3% about refilling our Tervis tumblers with a delightful vodka/Kool-Aid concoction. - Sigh.
You’ll make one water balloon after another. I’m letting the folks at Tampax handle this!
Enjoy the summer, parents!
This article first appeared on June 8, 2017.
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Summary:
Taking kids swimming can often feel like a chaotic task filled with stress and humor. Parents invest significant time preparing for the outing, only to face the challenge of keeping their kids entertained and safe. With comic relief from fellow parents on social media, the shared experiences of navigating pool days and beach trips provide a sense of camaraderie.