Ever felt that jarring disconnect when a barista refers to you as “ma’am,” or when you hear younger folks calling you “a grown-up”? You might find yourself thinking, “How can I possibly be a ‘ma’am’ when I still feel like I’m in my twenties?” This sentiment is the heart of Togetherness, the new comedy from Jay and Mark Duplass that premiered on HBO on Sunday. It dives deep into the experience of straddling two worlds: the carefree, aimless life of post-college years, and the structured, responsibility-laden existence of being married with kids and a mortgage.
The married duo, Jake and Sarah (played by Mark Duplass and Melanie Lynskey), appear to be the ideal couple to Sarah’s chaotic sister, Ellie (Amanda Peet), and Jake’s down-on-his-luck best friend Mike (Steve Zissis). However, beneath their facade of “togetherness” lies a marriage struggling with intimacy. While Jake and Sarah seem to have it all—a lovely home and two children—they grapple with significant issues, chief among them a dwindling romantic connection.
In contrast, Ellie and Mike find themselves stuck in a perpetual adolescence. Ellie confuses physical encounters with emotional connections, sending suggestive selfies to a guy who never reciprocates, ultimately facing rejection via text. Meanwhile, Mike, facing eviction and unemployment, contemplates moving back in with his parents as his acting aspirations fade away.
Though all four characters are hovering around forty, Jake and Sarah have crossed into adulthood, while Ellie and Mike remain ensnared in a state of immaturity. After a breakup, Mike takes Ellie to indulge in some nostalgic Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wine, a drink reminiscent of youthful parties. As they sip in their minivan, they watch Ellie and Mike’s antics as they toilet paper her ex’s house to the tune of Skid Row’s “Youth Gone Wild.” “They look like they’re having so much fun,” Sarah muses, and Jake nods in agreement.
These two couples represent the ongoing internal conflict many face as they navigate adulthood, where the responsibilities of life clash with lingering youthful impulses. Togetherness promises a season filled with the tension between these contrasting forces, mirroring the internal struggles of anyone caught on the brink of midlife, pondering how they arrived at this point.
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In summary, Togetherness encapsulates the chaotic yet relatable journey of adulthood, inviting viewers to reflect on their own life transitions while laughing at the relatable absurdities of adulting.