Let’s be honest: a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes at your local café may not compare to a natural disaster, but it can still throw a wrench in your morning routine. First World Problems—like hearing that your friend’s text about a sold-out Tory Burch purse or dealing with Wi-Fi issues before a much-anticipated concert—typically only warrant a few frowny-face emojis.
However, as someone who grew up in the ’80s, I find myself facing certain frustrations that may seem trivial to those from other eras. Here are 18 unique First World Problems that resonate with anyone who cherished their childhood in that fabulous decade:
- Lying in bed and flipping through channels only to discover the uncut version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High is airing just as you need to be up early for work.
- No matter your weight, your partner still won’t reenact the iconic lift scene from Dirty Dancing with you.
- Asking your kids to tape a show for you only to remember they have no clue what “taping” means. You opt for “never mind” since explaining “DVR” feels like a bridge too far.
- Finding an old disposable camera in a box, only to realize you’ll never see those pictures because no one develops film anymore.
- Strolling through the toy aisle and questioning why anyone thought it was a good idea to “improve” the looks of My Little Ponies.
- Feeling a sense of outrage when you hear Nirvana on the ’80s XM radio station, fully aware it belongs on the ’90s channel.
- When someone claims they’ve never seen Michael Jackson’s legendary Thriller music video, you feel sorry for them—and a little bit angry.
- Imagining your life with childhood crush Rob Lowe, only to find yourself in sweats at the store buying tampons while he graces tabloid covers.
- Lawn darts are now prohibited, depriving your kids of the thrill of genuinely dangerous fun.
- The local skating rink has turned into a rundown spot, leaving you unable to introduce your kids to your backward-skating glory days.
- The absence of Electric Youth perfume in stores—and no one recognizing Debbie Gibson—is a major letdown.
- Recording songs from XM Radio to create mixtapes is a lost art.
- Realizing how much more you could fit in your car for family trips if your kids could just sit in the back like you used to.
- The heartbreak of discovering your vintage Caboodles case is irreplaceable while the new ones are flimsy.
- When “Footloose” plays at the grocery store, you can’t help but dance in the produce aisle.
- You find yourself having awkward discussions with your kids about topics your parents never addressed, thanks to the absence of afterschool specials.
- Browsing the wine aisle and wishing bottle labels were scratch-and-sniff like those fun stickers from your youth.
- Waking up in the middle of the night craving Pizzarias Chips or Jell-O Pudding Pops is just plain frustrating.
It’s like wanting to visit a place where everyone knows your name, but no one around you has ever heard of Cheers. To soothe the sting of these ’80s-inspired First World Problems, indulge in reruns of your favorite shows on TV Land and Netflix. Remember, you’re not alone in this nostalgia. Embrace the best parts of your past while letting go of the rest. And while many ’80s fashions are making a comeback, let your experiences and old Polaroids guide you away from the neon jumpsuits trending on Instagram.
In conclusion, growing up in the ’80s brings with it a special set of challenges that may seem trivial but resonate deeply with those who lived through it.
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