Reflecting on my past, I realize that I made a significant decision seven years ago that I sometimes regret. In conversations with friends who are contemplating parenthood later in life, I often advise them to maintain their careers after welcoming a child. It’s a choice I wish I had thought through more carefully.
When my first child arrived, I held a position at a thriving publishing company that I was passionate about. The work was engaging, and I enjoyed a supportive team. My role became increasingly fulfilling, especially after my company was acquired, bringing more benefits and opportunities. I often joked with my husband and friends that I would spend my entire career there, never imagining that I would leave after having a baby.
Life moved quickly for us; we married, settled in New York City, and shortly thereafter, I found myself pregnant at 32. Everything happened almost in a whirlwind—from moving to the suburbs to preparing for the baby’s arrival. I took some time off to bond with her, but during my maternity leave, my office relocated to an area much further away from our new home. Suddenly, my life was turned upside down.
Returning to work meant facing a lengthy commute and the challenges of balancing my professional life with being a new mom. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy as I navigated the complexities of motherhood and my career. I vividly remember the chaos of trying to pump milk for my baby while managing an important meeting or conference call. It was overwhelming, and I often felt like I was losing precious moments of my child’s early development.
One particularly challenging memory was during the tri-state blackout shortly after my return to work. I was stranded in the city, filled with anxiety as I thought of my baby alone with a babysitter who was unprepared for the unexpected situation. That night solidified my worries about being a working mom.
Initially, my workplace was accommodating, allowing me to work three days in the office and two from home. This arrangement was helpful, but I constantly felt like I was missing out on my daughter’s milestones. I was sick often, juggling my responsibilities while dealing with the fatigue of new parenthood. My performance at work inevitably suffered. Eventually, I made the decision to resign, a choice that, while expected, left me feeling unfulfilled.
For half a year after leaving, I continued to work part-time for my previous employer, which provided a much-needed connection to my former life. However, it was difficult to sever ties with my career entirely. Shortly after, I became pregnant again, which added to the chaos of raising two children just 19 months apart. Managing two young kids proved to be a challenge I wasn’t fully prepared for, leading to feelings of depression and inadequacy.
During a trip to England, I was inspired by women who balanced part-time jobs while raising children. Upon returning home, I sought out a similar opportunity and eventually found a part-time position in publishing that evolved into consulting work. While I appreciated the flexibility, I often felt my skills weren’t fully utilized in this role, leading to a sense of professional detachment.
Looking back, I’m grateful for the time I spent with my kids during their formative years. I was present for their ballet classes, school events, and concerts, striving to be the best mom I could be. Yet, I can’t help but wonder how things might have been different had I chosen to keep my career going. If I had hired a babysitter who didn’t trigger my insecurities, perhaps things would have been smoother.
It’s important to acknowledge that I’ve never enjoyed the playground scene or the routines of school drop-offs and pick-ups. I often feel out of place among other mothers who seem to thrive in those environments. The truth is, I realized that I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom, even though I made that choice hastily.
If you are a new mother contemplating leaving your full-time job, I urge you to consider your options carefully. If you can work part-time in a role that provides similar responsibilities, that might be a good fit. Balance is essential, and you need to do what feels right for you. If you love your job, sticking with it can allow you to manage family and work life more effectively, making it easier to attend important events like dance recitals or doctor’s appointments.
In the end, every family is different, but having a fulfilling career while being a mom can lead to greater satisfaction for both you and your children. For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on what to expect when undergoing your first IUI.
Summary:
Navigating motherhood and career can be challenging. Jessica Taylor reflects on her hasty decision to leave her job after having children and shares lessons learned about balancing work and family life. By encouraging new mothers to evaluate their choices and consider part-time work, she emphasizes the importance of finding personal satisfaction in both parenting and professional pursuits.