With two soon-to-be 15-year-olds, I’ve come to understand the truth behind the saying, “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” In my naive anticipation of parenthood, I envisioned a future where I could dash to the store without the hassle of car seats and where my children would effortlessly navigate their meals while I enjoyed my dinner. I pictured delightful conversations in my pristine kitchen, filled with laughter and self-sufficient young adults making wise decisions.
Oh, how wrong I was! Parenting teens is anything but simple. It challenges everything I believed I knew about child-rearing and often makes me question my choices, even the decision to become a parent in the first place.
I often find myself puzzled by how the sweet little boy I once knew can now emit such a strong odor or how my once adoring daughter now looks at me with the disdain typically reserved for people with perfect shoes.
Raising teenagers comes without a manual. They are individuals navigating the complexities of the world, and your role as a parent is to be present when they need you.
Be There When They Want You
My friend Lisa, who has raised a set of rambunctious twins, advised me on the importance of being around for teens. This ensures that when they are ready to talk, they will feel comfortable coming to you instead of venting to their friends, who, let’s be honest, are often not the wisest advisors.
When you have teenagers, the most significant yet challenging lesson you’ll learn is the art of letting go. You’ll eventually have to allow them to go to the movies with friends or walk to the soccer field solo, and yes, even let them ride with another teen behind the wheel.
They may act like total goofballs at the theater, use language that makes you cringe, or drive too fast without buckling up. But then again, they might surprise you and behave responsibly.
All you can do is hope. Hope that you’ve instilled enough love and values in them to stand strong against peer pressure. Hope that they will be smart and kind.
You may not always feel certain that you’ve done a good job. Like many parents, I’ve spent sleepless nights worrying, reading parenting blogs, and hoping for reassurance that I’m on the right track. Then one day, your son might surprise you by choosing an outfit you would have picked out, even if his pants hang a bit low. He might ask if he can light a candle for your ailing pet, and suddenly you’ll notice how warmly others greet your children in social settings.
It’s in these moments you’ll realize they possess good manners and, despite the eye rolls and drama, they actually know how to function in the real world. So, try not to get teary-eyed; it might just mortify them.
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In summary, raising teens is a delicate dance of letting go while holding on to the values you’ve instilled in them. It’s a journey filled with moments of worry, laughter, and the occasional eye roll, but ultimately, it’s about trusting in the foundation you’ve built together as a family.