Dear Jake,
Yesterday, as I pulled into the driveway for our usual pickup, it hit me—it’s been nearly two years since I last saw you in your most vulnerable state. I must admit, my relief was almost palpable, and while I claimed I was distracted by the dog, the truth is I was more focused on your, well, anatomy.
I believe it’s time for some honesty between us, something we struggled to maintain during our marriage. So here goes: I owe you an apology. I’m truly sorry we vowed ‘forever’ without understanding what that truly meant. If there’s blame to be assigned, it rests with the cosmos; how could we have known back then what we know now? We were young and inexperienced, navigating life and love, unaware that we would drift apart.
Yet, I also want to express my gratitude. Thank you for the ring, for sharing your last name, and for the lessons in resilience and patience. Most importantly, thank you for the wonderful children who carry bits of you in their laughter and smiles. They are the greatest gifts life has given me.
Thank you for fighting for me when it mattered and for letting me go when I asked for space. Although our Divorce Agreement clearly outlines visitation schedules and financial responsibilities like braces for the kids, there are still unspoken questions hanging between us, questions too delicate for direct conversation.
Some of these questions might lead us back to those cherished moments—the first nights home with our daughter, marveling at her tiny hands. Do you remember how we would just sit and watch her sleep? Or when you hear our wedding song, do you skip it immediately or pause for a moment, recalling that beach weekend when my hair fell across my face? Have you erased that song from your collection, afraid it might open a chapter you’ve closed?
I wonder about your life now. Are you in love? Does someone love you? Is your new partner everything you wished for, fulfilling desires I couldn’t? Do you question if you ever truly loved me, or if you even understood love back then?
There’s also the matter of how we navigate our new reality. When is it appropriate to hug you? At school events, or during significant life moments? Should I reach out during family gatherings or simply nod and walk away? Everything has shifted, and I understand that’s the way it has to be. We’re not Facebook friends; our communication is reduced to quick text exchanges, like we’re strangers in a driveway.
Lastly, I want to share that I’ve moved past my anger. With therapy and countless self-help books, I’ve learned to release those emotions, tying them to balloons and watching them float away. But I see the anger still etched on your face when you look at me.
Which brings me to one final question: Do you think you will forgive me soon?
Warm wishes,
Your Ex-Wife