In our household, we often find ourselves in a situation best described as “love abundant/cash limited.” Back when we were love abundant and cash abundant, cleaning was a team effort. Those days have faded, and now the responsibility of keeping our home clean falls squarely on our shoulders. The result? A bit of a cluttered mess. Walk into any room and you’ll encounter an array of dust, scattered socks, toys, wrappers, and the occasional smudge of dirt. We strive to maintain some order, but when faced with the challenges of parenting—like managing school reports, job searches, and ensuring the kids are fed—a messy home seems much less daunting.
We’ve learned to navigate our chaos with a mix of blinders and radar: blinders to overlook the visual clutter and radar to dodge stray Lego pieces and action figures during late-night trips to the bathroom. We naturally bond with other families who share a similar, or even more chaotic, level of housekeeping. It brings a sense of camaraderie and relief from judgment.
There are specific occasions when we dedicate a weekend to serious cleaning: birthday celebrations, holiday gatherings, or any event that invites guests outside our inner circle. For the rest of the time, visits from family and close friends prompt a hasty cleanup—just a quick wipe of the bathroom and a sweep of the living room to create the illusion of cleanliness. We prefer these gatherings in the evening; after all, a little mood lighting can work wonders in concealing both wrinkles and dust.
One of our favorite local spots, The Pasta House, perfectly embodies this tactic (try visiting during the day—yikes!). I don’t want to mislead you; we’re not dealing with a rodent infestation here. My kids haven’t reached the stage of being embarrassed to invite friends over, and there’s still plenty of visible floor among the toys. However, it’s safe to say that we won’t be winning any neatness awards.
Despite our relaxed approach, I still find myself occasionally appalled by the various forms of “dirtiness” that manifest in our home. Take the time we sold our house and, on moving day, discovered a wall covered in dried boogers behind the bunk beds. Not only was it revolting, but we were also shocked to learn it was my son Max’s guilty secret. Years later, his younger brother Alex cheerfully confessed that he was the culprit behind the unsightly evidence.
Less revolting but still cringe-worthy was my recent discovery of a filthy spot that had likely been there for months. It was on the kitchenette banister overlooking our sunken living room. From my computer desk, I usually focus on the kitchen floor, but I seldom glance up at the banister where my five-year-old likes to lean while watching TV—and, um, use it as a tissue. Sigh.
These little surprises can be maddening. For a fleeting moment, I fantasize about a world where my kids pick up after themselves, toss their dirty clothes in the hamper, wash their hands regularly, and empty their shoes of sand into the trash rather than on the floor. But then I remember that their whimsical chaos is part of what makes them so delightful. After all, how could the child who keeps the house spotless be the same one crafting a go-kart out of a soda can and a tennis ball hopper? Or the one who dresses as Zorro for three months straight? I doubt it.
So, I reluctantly grab a magic eraser and head toward the banister. But not before bringing Max over to witness our home’s messy reality. He gazes at it with wide brown eyes and solemnly pledges to do his best to wash his hands next time…with soap.
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In summary, while our home may not be a showcase of cleanliness, the joy and creativity that my children bring into our lives far outweigh the occasional mess. Embracing this chaos allows us to cherish the magic of family life, even if it means dealing with a little dust along the way.