I wouldn’t exactly call myself athletic. The last time I was “beach body ready” was during my twenties when I dabbled in hot yoga and swapped my beer for white wine. However, after the arrival of my second daughter, I surprisingly bounced back to my pre-baby weight much quicker this time around, and I’ve mostly maintained it since she turned one. The secret? I have a personal trainer living right under my roof. Standing at about half my height and weighing in around 30 pounds, she’s relentless when it comes to her workouts (and we’re working on that). Meet my four-year-old, Mia.
The great news is that she’s not the only pint-sized trainer out there. If you’re curious about hiring one for a day, just reach out to a friend with a preschooler. You can wave them goodbye as they speed off in their car, squealing like they’re on a game show!
Here’s what a typical training day looks like:
- Stretching: My trainer kicks off our warm-up with her signature move—“crouching mama, hidden crayon.” To set this up, place crayons and paper on the coffee table and invite her to color. After a few minutes, one crayon will mysteriously find its way under the couch. Cue the minor crisis! To complete the stretch, get down on your belly and extend your right arm under the couch, reaching for the elusive crayon. You’ll find yourself shimmying and contorting to retrieve it, then repeat with the rest of the colors, switching arms each time.
- Cardio: For a solid cardiovascular workout, a trip to the grocery store works wonders. Start by asking if she needs to use the restroom right at the entrance—spoiler: she won’t. As you make your way to the frozen food aisle, casually grab a jug of milk. Just as you’re lowering it into the cart, you’ll notice her crossing her legs. Take a deep breath and hold her hand tightly as you briskly head back to the entrance, fumbling through your purse for spare clothes. When you finally reach the restroom, if it’s occupied—stay calm! The men’s room is usually free. Knock, enter, and assist your (almost) relieved toddler onto the toilet. Exhale.
- Resistance Training: For an efficient full-body workout, take her to a fun place like her grandparents’ house or the local pool. Once there, announce the impending departure after a few hours of joy. To increase the challenge, wait until just before bedtime to reveal this news. I dare you!
- Agility Drills: Throughout the day, it may appear as though your trainer is engrossed in independent play. Don’t be fooled—she’s actually preparing an obstacle course for you! Expect to navigate a gauntlet of scattered toys, cushions, and random items. If that isn’t enough of a challenge, try running the course while cooking dinner!
- Cool Down: Finally, lie down next to your freshly bathed, rosy-cheeked darling in her pajamas. Read “The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog” or “Curious George and the Firefighters”—the first of many times you’ll revisit these stories. Plant a kiss on her forehead, turn out the light, and allow yourself to close your eyes for just a moment. You’ll inevitably wake up two hours later, courtesy of her elbow jabbing your side.
Let me be honest: this training regimen isn’t for everyone. There are nights when I stand at her door, questioning my ability to handle another round tomorrow without losing my mind. And the dietary side? It consists mainly of unlimited grilled cheese sandwiches, chocolate milk, and anything topped with frosting or sprinkles. Still, I recommend this unique personal training experience to just about anyone I encounter.
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Summary:
Having a child can transform your daily routine into a workout regimen that includes stretching, cardio, strength training, agility drills, and cooldowns, all while navigating the joys and challenges of parenting. Despite the chaos, these experiences can lead to a surprising level of fitness and bonding.