People often mistake my sons for girls, and when that happens, I gently correct them, using “he” or “him” instead of “she.” The surprise on their faces is palpable, as if they believe my sons looking feminine is some sort of offense. “I’m so sorry,” they stammer, leaving the apology unfinished, as if the idea of a boy with long hair is somehow wrong.
I brush it off, responding, “No worries!” Because when you choose to let your sons have long hair, these misunderstandings come with the territory.
I’ve always had a fondness for long-haired men. In college, I would plead with my boyfriends to grow their hair out, and I spent years trying to keep my husband from frequent trips to the barber. When I finally had boys of my own, I knew their hair would flow long and free.
My first son almost derailed my plans; he was born with barely a tuft of hair and remained bald for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair grew—albeit in a wild, fuzzy style reminiscent of Einstein. My second son, however, has straight, shiny locks that cascade down past his shoulders, embodying the perfect surfer vibe. As for my youngest, he’s just beginning to sprout adorable beachy curls.
While I adore their long hair, my mother and in-laws prefer more traditional short styles. My in-laws keep their thoughts to themselves, but my mom expresses a desire to take the kids for haircuts. Their objections stem from conventional gender norms where boys have short hair and girls have long. I choose to ignore their concerns.
Over the years, I’ve faced various comments about my sons’ hair. Someone once suggested they looked unkempt, which prompted me to realize that a trim can keep long hair looking its best. After some deliberation, I cut my oldest son’s unruly baby hair to allow his true hair to flourish. It was a tough decision; he looked like a little sheep afterward. But he enjoys his short hair and is adamant that it will grow long again.
The most important factor is that my sons are happy with their hair. My oldest is determined to grow it out, while my middle son enthusiastically shares his goal of hair down to his knees. The youngest is still too little to express his preferences, but when he’s older, I’ll gladly respect his wishes—though it might come with a few tears from me.
My middle son understands that maintaining long hair requires effort. We make sure to keep it free from tangles, and if it gets messy, a bath and some washing are in order. Each morning, I brush his hair, sometimes even straightening it, and he claims to enjoy it. He knows that standing still is part of the deal.
Sometimes, other kids mistake them for girls or question why the “girls” are wearing Star Wars shirts. We correct them, and they usually learn quickly. Thankfully, my boys have yet to encounter mean kids who tease them about their hair. Perhaps it’s because long hair on boys is becoming more accepted or maybe it’s just the company we keep.
I’m proud of their long, silky hair. It reflects their individuality, free from arbitrary norms about how boys should look. Their hair is beautiful, unique, and a true expression of who they are—and that’s something to celebrate.
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In summary, my sons’ long hair is a source of pride and joy. It represents their choices and individuality, and I will continue to support them in their hair journeys.