Parenting
By Emily Hartman
Updated: June 25, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 28, 2010
Parents often get excited when they hear their baby’s first words—it’s a huge milestone worth celebrating! We put in a lot of effort to get our little ones talking, helping them articulate clearly and naming everything around them. We proudly keep track of their vocabulary, eagerly waiting for those magical two- and three-word phrases, with complete sentences being the ultimate goal.
But wait—are we going about this all wrong? Maybe we should consider discouraging our kids from speaking for as long as we can. After all, new talkers can be quite the social challenge. They’re like little truth bombs, and let’s face it, they have a knack for turning us into apology machines.
The anxiety that comes with having a chatty toddler isn’t just limited to public outings; it seeps into our private lives too. Suddenly, we find ourselves choosing our words carefully, avoiding heated discussions or colorful language. Have you ever tried to curb your natural East Coast directness? It’s like asking a fish to climb a tree! Seriously, just try driving through Seattle traffic without a few choice words slipping out—it’s nearly impossible!
And the consequences? Kids have a tendency to repeat everything they hear. If you express your less-than-favorable opinion about Aunt Lucy, you can bet your child will share that news as soon as she walks in the door. And if you think it’s harmless to drop a curse word in front of them, don’t be surprised when they cheerfully greet their preschool friends with a “Hello, Fellas!”
Forget about privacy! Those days are long gone. Your life is an open book, and your child is the eager narrator. Every little detail—what you eat, your habits, even your personal quirks—becomes fair game for discussion. It’s a bit like living in a reality show where everyone knows about your gas issues and bedtime rituals because, let’s be honest, we do the same with our toddlers.
The real trouble starts when their newfound ability to talk combines with their curiosity. Kids will ask the most awkward questions in the most inappropriate places. For instance, you might be mortified when your son asks the receptionist at preschool why she’s wearing skinny jeans, or when he shouts at the park, “Mommy, why does that man only have one leg?” You’ll find yourself scrambling to explain without offending anyone.
Sometimes you can see the embarrassment coming from a mile away. You could be in the grocery store, desperately trying to distract your little one from spotting that acquaintance you’d rather avoid, but nope! That lollipop isn’t going to cut it this time; they want to talk—just not with the iPhone you’re trying to shove into their hands.
Here are just a few of the hilariously awkward things my kids have blurted out in public:
- “Mommy, there’s a hair in my food!” at a friend’s dinner party.
- “Why is your face all wrinkly?” to a lovely elderly woman.
- “Do you have a baby in your tummy?” to my father.
- “Your breath smells bad!” to me after a coffee break.
- “She has a big bottom!” directed at a stranger in the grocery store.
- “Why is his skin brown?” to my friend at the gym.
- “Your house smells funny!” during a play date.
So, maybe we should rethink this whole encouragement of speech thing. They’ll be talking plenty on their own soon enough!
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Summary:
This article humorously explores the challenges and unexpected consequences of teaching children to talk. It highlights the social liabilities that come with their newfound communication skills, leading parents to rethink their encouragement of speech. With relatable anecdotes, it reflects on the awkward yet amusing moments that arise from children’s candid observations.