Welcome to the neighborhood! I wanted to reach out and apologize for not properly introducing myself. I’m truly sorry for the awkward encounter earlier. When you waved at me this morning, I was excited to say hi back, but as I raised my hand (and my coffee mug), I realized I hadn’t secured the lid. Coffee ended up everywhere—ouch! That’s why you heard me drive past, exclaiming, “Oh for heaven’s sake, I’m such a klutz!” I promise, that wasn’t aimed at you. I was just having one of those chaotic mornings, especially after cleaning up after my dog’s unfortunate roll in something unpleasant.
After that little mishap, I thought it best to write you a note to explain things, so you don’t mistakenly think of me as the “crazy neighbor” when you see me walking by with my kids.
About My Sparkly Pink Tiara
Speaking of which, when I walked the dog last weekend, I waved at you and noticed the puzzled look you had when I greeted you back. I later realized I was wearing my sparkly pink tiara that my son gifted me for Christmas last year. I found it while unpacking and put it on to make him smile, forgetting entirely that I had it on! So yes, I’m that neighbor who walks the dog in a tiara.
The Backyard Commotion
I also wanted to clarify the loud conversation you might have overheard in the backyard. My three boys, aged 7 to 12, can get a bit rowdy! Just to be clear, I wasn’t actually going to duct tape my son’s backside for his incessant farting on his brother’s head, even if I felt like it! And when I jokingly said I’d make my son wipe my butt if he asked me one more time to wipe his, it was merely a moment of exasperation. I can assure you, I am fully capable of handling that on my own.
A Little Misunderstanding
Oh, and I owe you an apology for my son’s comment when you came by to borrow our ladder. He mentioned I was having “Mommy’s Naked Time.” To keep my boys from barging into my room, I sometimes say I’m naked so they knock instead. It’s a strategy that usually works, but I’ll make sure to clarify that for them in the future. You’re welcome to borrow the ladder anytime!
The Closet Incident
Lastly, I’m sorry for the little scare this afternoon when my youngest came knocking at your door looking for me. Everything was fine, I just needed a moment of peace after they turned the bathroom into a battleground. I was hiding in my closet to find a little quiet, and I guess my youngest panicked when he couldn’t find me. I appreciate your concern, and I’m sorry for the commotion!
I promise I’m usually a friendly neighbor! I’d love for you to come over for dinner soon. I think our kids will get along just fine (I’ve had a chat with mine about not using dried dog poop as ammunition in their Nerf wars!). We have plenty of drinks to share, whether it’s wine, beer, or something stronger—you name it!
Looking forward to getting to know you better!
Warm regards,
Your New Neighbors
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Summary: This lighthearted note welcomes a new neighbor while explaining humorous household mishaps, including a comedic misunderstanding involving a tiara and a chaotic family life. The author offers an invitation for dinner, hoping to foster a friendly neighborhood relationship.