My partner and I are the proud parents of four energetic children, including a set of triplets. Yes, our life is just as chaotic as you can imagine! Fortunately, we make a great team. When you are gifted, or shall I say blessed, with triplets that bump your total from one child to four—all aged two and under—you quickly learn that teamwork is essential for survival.
It’s a known fact that parents of multiples face challenges, with a divorce rate between 75 to 80%. Thankfully, my partner, Jake, and I share parenting responsibilities as much as possible. I work just two days a week, which means I spend the majority of my time with the kids. As a result, I often find myself handling their needs more frequently.
I take them grocery shopping, prepare their meals, and ensure they are dressed, fed, and ready for school. Keeping them healthy and appropriately dressed for the weather is also my responsibility. I handle the nighttime wake-ups when one or more of them cries. Jake does pitch in when he’s home, but it’s usually me managing the day-to-day tasks.
However, there’s one weekend each month when I have to work. As a nurse, I work 12-hour shifts from 7 AM to 7 PM. So, there’s one Saturday and Sunday a month when Jake and the kids are left to their own devices.
On my last working weekend, Jake decided to take the kids to church, as we had recently started going again and the little ones were finally overcoming their fears of Sunday school. I was supportive and laid out their Sunday clothes and styled Claire’s hair to make his job a bit easier.
To be honest, I had my doubts about his ability to manage everything. Typically, I’m the one who feeds the kids, dresses them, packs snacks, and manages my own outfit while Jake gets ready.
When I called Jake later that day, I was shocked to learn that he not only took the kids to church but also visited his grandma in the nursing home and took them all out for lunch. I hung up feeling a bit deflated.
“What’s wrong?” my friend asked when I mentioned my mood.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I replied, “but Jake took the kids to church, his grandma’s, and out to eat—and everything went smoothly.”
My friend looked at me, puzzled. “And that’s bad because…?”
“It’s just that they behaved perfectly,” I explained. “No meltdowns, no accidents, and no fighting. His outing was a total success.”
My friend offered a sympathetic smile. “What’s the issue?”
I sighed, “Now he’ll give me that look when I share my stories about the disaster of my last trip to the store with the kids. You know the look—the one that says, ‘What’s the big deal? Taking the kids out isn’t hard.’ I really dislike that look.”
“So, what were you hoping for?” she inquired.
“Well, for starters, it would’ve been nice if something went wrong! Maybe a call asking for help or a little chaos, like a kid having an accident. Just the usual stuff that happens to me!”
My friend raised an eyebrow, “You wanted him to fail?”
“No, that sounds mean,” I conceded. “But I didn’t want to go to church next week and hear everyone talk about what a fantastic husband I have. I don’t want to listen to them say, ‘Oh, he’s such a super dad, he deserves a gold star!’ It’s just what I do nearly every day; it’s not that big of a deal.”
“So, in essence, you want a gold star too?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, “Where’s my mother effing gold star?”
This whole experience just goes to show that parenting can be a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs, and sometimes, recognition for our hard work is all we seek. If you’re navigating similar challenges, consider checking out resources on home insemination to expand your family journey.
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Summary
Parenting can be an unpredictable journey, especially when managing multiple children, and sometimes we yearn for recognition of our efforts. Sharing duties can lead to unexpected moments of pride and a little jealousy, reminding us that everyone’s experience is unique.