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Frenemies of the Unmarried Mom
You know what’s wild? Being an unmarried mom can sometimes feel like stepping into a battleground. The pressure to tie the knot is relentless. Seriously, everyone seems to have an opinion on when I’ll walk down the aisle—if I ever do.
My partner, Chris, and I have been blissfully living together for over a decade. Originally, kids weren’t in the plan, but as time went on, it became clear that we both wanted them. When I found out I was pregnant, we had our fair share of surprised reactions—some positive, some not so much.
From the divorcee who firmly requested I not raise a “bastard” to my own mother briefly wondering if I had gotten pregnant on purpose (I hadn’t!), the world is filled with so-called Frenemies of the Unmarried Mom.
Who’s Scared of Unmarried Moms?
- The Devout: If you’re genuinely religious, I understand my unmarried status might ruffle some feathers. It’s not my intention to offend your beliefs, but our paths and values may differ. Just like you swear by your favorite dish soap, I have my own preferences in life. Should I ever seek spiritual guidance, I might look elsewhere.
- The Joneses: These are the folks obsessed with appearances, always trying to “out-Jones” each other. They’re the ones who spend a fortune on that shiny engagement ring while I’m here ring-free. Ironically, they often look the most miserable behind their perfect facades, constantly trying to hide their life’s messiness.
- Married Moms: You’re nice to me when it’s just us moms, but I can’t help but notice you twist your wedding ring when we meet. I’m genuinely happy for your happiness, but let’s just enjoy a glass of wine together without the wedding ring anxiety, okay? I promise I’m not going to steal your husband just because my relationship status is a little different.
- Do-Good Dads: At first glance, they seem like your average family man, but they often have a lot of pressure to conform. They’re told to steer clear of unmarried moms like me since we’re seen as less committed. Yet, it’s these same guys who sometimes pressure me to marry, despite their own marital woes. Sorry, guys—stories about crazy wives don’t really make me want to run to the altar.
- Childfree by Choice: Unmarried moms can be a source of anxiety for you. Just a single mistake could turn you into one of us! Take care of that birth control and let’s not relive those wild nights—I don’t bounce back like I used to!
Spotting an Unmarried Mom:
It’s not easy! We blend in, often mistaken for other types of moms—single, married with their rings off, or child-free aunts. Before you judge, consider this: if my finger had a ring, would you even know the difference? I’m still a fantastic mom, ring or no ring. I pay my taxes, raise my child, and whip up baked goods that are just shy of perfect (seriously, don’t ask me for my buttercream recipe!).
So, let’s be friends! And just so we’re clear, I don’t have a definitive answer on whether I’ll marry Chris in the future. It might happen, or it might not—who knows?
For more insightful discussions about family planning and insemination options, check out resources like this one and this helpful post.
If you’re considering a home insemination kit, this site offers excellent options to get you started.
Summary:
Navigating the world as an unmarried mom can bring its own set of challenges, especially when faced with judgment from various groups. From the religiously devout to the image-obsessed Joneses, everyone seems to have an opinion on my relationship status. Despite the pressures, it’s essential to embrace our choices and foster connections that uplift rather than undermine. Remember, whether married or unmarried, we all share the common goal of being great parents.