Parenting Hacks: Communicating without the Chit-Chat
Did you know that men typically use around 7,000 words a day? Women, on the other hand, clock in at about 20,000. And mothers? Well, let’s just say they could probably reach a staggering 2,846,325 words daily—often repeating the same phrases endlessly.
“Put your backpack away!”
“Pick up your shoes!”
“Make your bed!”
“Brush your teeth!”
“Stop bothering your brother!”
“Don’t talk to me like that!”
“I’m not asking again!”
“Where’s your homework?”
“Please finish your homework!”
“I don’t care if you don’t like it, it’s what’s for dinner!”
“You just had a snack!”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Turn off the television!”
“Put away your iTouch!”
“Don’t speak to your brother that way!”
“I don’t care who started it; I’ll finish it!”
“Do I really have to repeat myself?”
Sound familiar? If you’re anything like me, you’re utterly exhausted from the constant chatter. And I suspect my kids are just as weary of hearing me. So, I’ve decided to embark on a Word Strike. Yes, you read that right! I’m going to parent using only my expressions.
While some might say that the pen is mightier than the sword, I’d argue that a well-raised eyebrow, a long stare, and a tight-lipped smile can wield even more power. Let me break it down for you:
Facial Expression A: The “Seriously?” Look
This expression comes in handy when you’re on the verge of losing your cool after repeating yourself for what feels like the hundredth time. It silently screams, “If I have to remind you again, I might just explode!”
Real-World Examples:
- You’ve asked your child to put away their shoes multiple times, yet they’re still sprawled across the living room floor.
- You’ve reminded your child to feed the dog repeatedly, but the bowl remains empty.
- Your child claims to have brushed their teeth, but you can see a thick layer of grime—what I fondly call “Sweater Teeth.”
Facial Expression B: The “Do I Look Amused?” Look
Use this one when your child is trying too hard to be funny in situations where they shouldn’t. The look translates to, “Keep it up, and you’ll be in big trouble,” or “You’re digging your own grave here.”
Real-World Examples:
- Your child insists on making jokes about bodily functions, expecting laughter.
- They’re misbehaving loudly in public, and you’re mentally plotting how to regain control.
Facial Expression C: The “Are You Sure You Want to Go There?” Look
Perfect for dealing with tweens who argue or offer “alternative” solutions to your requests. A head tilt combined with a slight frown works wonders here.
Real-World Example:
- Anytime your child responds to your directions with sarcasm.
Facial Expression D: The “Wow, It’s a Miracle!” Look
This expression is reserved for those extraordinary moments that deserve recognition. It’s like finding gold among the clutter of daily life.
Real-World Examples:
- Your child actually says, “Yes, Mom,” when asked to put their shoes away.
- They laugh at your jokes instead of rolling their eyes.
- They manage to brush their teeth on their own—without a battle.
Facial Expression D is, of course, the rarest of them all.
Join me on a Word Strike this weekend, and give your vocal cords a break while enjoying the quiet that comes with nonverbal communication. Because who needs words when you can master a raised eyebrow and a long, knowing stare?
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In summary, sometimes less is more when it comes to parenting. Embrace the power of nonverbal communication and enjoy a little peace and quiet!