Menu: Parenting
You’re a Wonderful Mom, Even If…
by Jamie Collins
Updated: Jan. 21, 2023
Originally Published: April 6, 2011
When did parenting turn into a cutthroat competition? It seems like every day presents a new reason to feel inadequate, especially when you come across studies claiming that everything you’ve been doing since you saw those two lines on the pregnancy test is wrong. Take a deep breath! Remember, you’re doing the best you can. Just the fact that you’re reading this shows you’re a great mom, even if…
You didn’t have a “natural birth.”
Whether you delivered your little one without any pain relief or opted for an epidural, it doesn’t define your parenting. The way your child enters the world has absolutely no impact on your ability to nurture them. I had two C-sections, and my twins spent a month in the NICU. They’re seven now, and our bond is stronger than ever!
You chose to stop breastfeeding (or never started).
Maybe breastfeeding was a painful experience for you, or perhaps you didn’t feel it was the right fit. Or maybe you managed to do it for a while but had to return to work and pumping felt overwhelming. No need to feel guilty; research has shown that breastfeeding isn’t essential for great parenting. In fact, many studies suggest that the advantages of breastfeeding have been exaggerated. Just look it up!
You didn’t experience instant love for your baby.
Staring down at the tiny human in your arms, you might have felt more like, “What now?” instead of an overwhelming wave of love. That’s completely normal! Some moms don’t feel that intense connection until their child starts walking or talking. It’s not a fairy tale, it’s parenthood.
(Note: If you’re feeling detached or persistently down, reach out to a healthcare professional! That could be serious, and getting help is important. But that doesn’t make you a bad mom!)
Your kids have indulged in fast food (just yesterday).
So you hit the drive-thru after a long day of activities because everyone was starving and you didn’t have dinner prepped. Fast food might not be the healthiest option, but it’s not the end of the world. The fact that you care enough to feel guilty means you’re doing a great job! If you want, grab a milkshake for yourself next time—own that choice!
You don’t have family dinners every week.
I’ve seen the studies that claim lack of family meals leads to serious consequences. But come on! As long as you’re engaging with your kids daily, even if it’s about silly things like farts, you’re golden.
You allow your kids to quit activities.
Kids often juggle so many commitments; one less won’t hurt. If your child wants to stop playing soccer, let them! It’s not about creating the next superstar; it’s about them enjoying their time and you having a little more peace to check your social media!
Your kid isn’t a “gifted” child.
While the term “gifted” is trendy, it doesn’t reflect your parenting skills. You can’t manufacture a gifted child through prenatal reading or elite preschools. The truth is, only about 2% – 5% of children are actually gifted. So, give your average kid a hug and celebrate their uniqueness!
Feeling better? You’re doing just fine, mom! Unless, of course, you’re one of those parents who allow their five-year-old to sip soda from a baby bottle. Then it might be time for a little reevaluation.
For more insights on parenting, check out our related posts on home insemination and the amazing journey it entails. If you’re looking for resources on pregnancy, visit NHS, which offers great information on IVF and other fertility options.
Summary:
Being a mom can feel like a constant competition, but it’s important to remember that you’re doing great, no matter your choices around childbirth, breastfeeding, or family meals. Letting kids quit activities or not having a “gifted” child doesn’t reflect on your parenting. Embrace your unique journey—you’re a fantastic mom!