Certain experiences remain ingrained in our minds forever. For me, it was January 28, 1986, when the Challenger shuttle tragically exploded; a random fall evening in 1987 when I shared my first kiss; November 4, 2008, the day we made history by electing our first African American President; and a warm summer day in 1995 when I realized my father was just another human being.
The timing of such revelations varies from person to person, but the emotions of shock, confusion, and even disappointment are universally felt. It’s a moment when you come to understand that your parents are just people—flawed individuals trying their best to navigate the chaos of life while raising children.
From our very first breath, our parents are our everything. They cradle us, respond to our every need, and seem to possess superhuman abilities to answer our endless questions. Naturally, we put them on pedestals, believing they can do no wrong. But when these seemingly invincible figures show their vulnerabilities, it can feel like our entire world has shifted.
When I first came to grips with the fact that my dad was merely human, I felt a wave of bitterness wash over me. I had placed him on such a high pedestal, believing he could do anything and never let me down. The disappointment was palpable, and resentment crept in. However, as I matured, my perspective evolved. Now, as a parent myself, I appreciate him even more. The truth is, no one is ever truly prepared for the challenges of parenthood. All the parenting books and tales from friends do little to equip us for the reality of raising children. It’s chaotic, exhausting, and the burdens we carry in our lives don’t magically vanish when we become parents.
I strive to be authentic with my kids. Perhaps it’s because I’m a single mom and my messy life is on full display, or maybe it’s an effort to soften the blow when they realize I’m not perfect. I want them to see the real me; the more they understand who I am, the less monumental the inevitable disappointments will be.
I’m not just their mother; I’m also a friend, daughter, writer, runner, and someone who enjoys the little things in life—like baking and lounging on weekends. I have hopes, dreams, and moments of frustration, too. I am human, just like them, and my role as their mom brings me immense joy, despite the challenges.
While being called “Mom” is my favorite title, at the end of the day, I’m just a person navigating life with two kids. The sooner they grasp this reality, the better. For more insights on parenting, check out one of our other blog posts at this link. Also, if you’re looking to enhance your journey into parenthood, Make A Mom has helpful resources on fertility supplements. For those interested in further information on treating infertility, ACOG offers excellent guidance.
In summary, realizing that parents are just people can be a bittersweet awakening, filled with both disappointment and understanding. With time, we learn to appreciate their imperfections, recognizing that they, too, are navigating the complexities of life.