A few weeks ago, my kids stumbled upon some old photo albums from their toddler days. Among the sweet memories were a few rather amusing snapshots from a pre-parenting trip to Ireland with friends. I say they “stumbled upon” the albums even though they’ve always been on a shelf in our dining room, because they’ve become like background noise in our home—overlooked and forgotten.
When my oldest child was born, I was fixated on every milestone, documenting them as if he were the first baby in history to achieve them. His first giggle, his first step, and the arrival of his first tooth were all celebrated with an enthusiasm that could rival any baby book. I shared each milestone with friends and family who were likely less interested in the details of his first taste of mashed bananas.
Parenting guides insisted these were the memories I’d cherish. But looking back, I realize that the conventional milestones aren’t the ones that linger in my mind. I can barely recall my sons’ first words, and the timing of their typical developmental achievements is a blur. Honestly, I’m not too concerned about those specifics.
A few weeks ago, I read a touching piece by Sarah Lane that highlighted the personal moments we hold dear, even if our children won’t remember them. It tugged at my heartstrings and reminded me that it’s the intimate experiences that stick with us. While I might not remember any playful tickle sessions with my boys, I definitely recall those long stroller walks and spontaneous dance parties.
However, alongside those delightful memories are countless parenting moments etched in my brain that I can’t seem to shake, no matter how hard I might try. For instance, I will forever remember the first time my child turned the bathtub into a disaster zone, the moment he vomited in public, or the episode when he threw up all over me.
I’ll never forget the diaper blowout that required scissors to remove his onesie, or the first time he managed to pee on me right after we got home from the hospital. The day he bit another child is seared into my memory, as is the time when another kid took a bite out of him.
I can still picture that first shower I took while he played in the other room, guilt and speed combining for the quickest rinse of my life. I’ll always remember the call from his teacher about his use of “potty language” at preschool, and the day I caught him exploring his own body. I thought, “This is normal, right?” Surely, I wasn’t the only one experiencing these moments of bewilderment.
I can’t forget the first time he exclaimed “wow” in an inappropriate context, and I had to stifle my laughter. But, let’s be honest. I’ll likely forget many of these details as motherhood tends to scramble our brains. Yet, I’ll have this list as a reminder of those unforgettable times.
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In summary, while we may obsess over milestones, it’s often the messy, chaotic, and surprising moments that truly define our parenting journey. And even if some memories fade, we can hold onto the laughter and love that fill our days.