Dear friend,
I appreciate the alternative lifestyle choices you embrace. I’m all about that holistic approach—whatever you want to label it, be it crunchy, granola, or even a bit hippie-ish. I can juggle nursing in a sling while pushing a cart filled with cloth-diapered toddlers sipping on organic juice boxes. I’m even brewing my own kombucha! If we were living in the 1960s, I would definitely fit right in.
However, there’s one topic that we seem to skirt around: vaccines. You know my kids are fully vaccinated, while yours have never seen a needle. It’s like discussing politics with your brother-in-law who believes in conspiracy theories—there’s just no middle ground. I trust the scientific evidence supporting vaccines. I’ve read the inserts, researched the studies, and listened to various viewpoints. After delving into the subject, I ultimately chose to follow the guidance of the CDC, the AAP, the WHO, our pediatrician, and my son’s epidemiologist godmother. We vaccinate our kids.
Conversely, you seem to have a different perspective on vaccines, possibly leaning towards alternative studies, which I personally find less credible. You likely believe that the research I trust is influenced by pharmaceutical companies. We are clearly looking at different sources of information, and you may think I’m misinformed, injecting my children with harmful substances.
I genuinely like you and don’t think you’re uninformed or intentionally disregarding science. If I did, I wouldn’t spend time with you. You’ve conducted your own research supporting your decision, and while I may not agree with it, I respect you as a person. But I also feel compelled to be honest: I believe my choice is correct, and I think you’re mistaken.
Our friendship shouldn’t become a battleground over this issue. I want to address a few important points. I care deeply about you, but I don’t care for diseases. If there’s a measles case within 500 miles, my kids will be kept away from unvaccinated children until they’ve received both doses of the MMR vaccine. This isn’t personal; it’s about their safety. You might think I’m overreacting, but please indulge me.
We both know that measles is highly contagious. Just as you worry about vaccine ingredients, I’m concerned about meningitis and encephalitis. I’m sure you understand the instinct to protect your kids—that’s why we’re having this conversation. So, expect some missed playdates in the near future.
We usually have an unspoken agreement—keeping sick kids at home is common courtesy. However, with unvaccinated kids, I need to be more cautious. I’m not just concerned about what your kids may currently have; I’m worried about what they could be carrying. So, if you’ve been visiting anyone under the weather, please don’t invite my kids over.
I know you’re thinking, “If your kids are vaccinated, what’s the worry?” Without diving into the science behind it, let’s just agree to respect each other’s concerns. And by the way, if you ever attend a pox party, please give me a heads-up. Varicella spreads before symptoms appear, and if you’re not going to quarantine, it’s best I know in advance.
In return, I promise to inform you when my kids receive their vaccinations. I understand your worries about vaccine shedding. While I don’t consider it a risk, I value our friendship too much to ignore your concerns. I’ll keep you posted on when my kids get their MMR and other live vaccines, ensuring you’re aware because I care about your peace of mind.
Most importantly, I vow not to be confrontational. I may disagree with your interpretation of the current science, but we can hold differing opinions on serious topics and still maintain our friendship. We’re all just parents trying to make the best choices for our families. I can believe you’re wrong without viewing you as foolish, and I hope you can extend the same courtesy to me.
In summary, while we may not see eye to eye on vaccinations, our friendship is far more important than any disagreement. Let’s continue to support and respect one another as we navigate parenthood.