Updated: Aug. 25, 2015
Originally Published: Feb. 1, 2012
When your television fades to black and the empty space around you seems to echo, you stumble upon an article titled “How to Embrace Solitude.” You think to yourself, “That’s not for me; I crave the warmth of affection too much.”
And tears will flow, the kind that come from the depths of despair, as you confront the void. You’ll also find yourself laughing, a sound tinged with the madness of being alone. People you thought cared will inexplicably drift away, leaving you in silence, without explanation or farewell.
You’ll find yourself saying, “We’re getting a divorce,” and those words will feel foreign, like they belong to someone far more courageous than you. There will be coffee dates with tall strangers who discuss hypnosis and spinal adjustments, tossing around words like ellipsis, sharing tales of their snowy walks home from Catholic school.
You’ll go out to bars at hours that used to be reserved for slumber, where an unseen DJ spins Barry White tracks while vibrant young women play pool, their laughter filling the air. They’re a decade younger, yet they exude an effortless confidence, as if they hold the answer to “What kind of love is this you’re givin me?” in the way their hair cascades.
People will comment on how much weight you’ve shed, exclaiming how beautiful and slender you’ve become, urging you to nourish yourself more. You’ll find yourself sleeping in various spots—on your side of the bed, sprawled across the couch, or even during the day, and eventually you’ll buy a new mattress.
As you remove your wedding ring and gaze at the pale imprint on your finger, you’ll reflect on how that circle mirrors the rings of a tree. Each groove symbolizes a year spent together, growing towards the light, only to branch out in different directions as you both sought your own space.
At times, you may feel as if love has forgotten your address, until one day you hear footsteps on your porch, followed by the familiar rhythm of “shave and a haircut, two bits” at your heavy door. With a moment’s hesitation, you’ll choose to open it, because deep down, you know you will.
This article was originally published on Feb. 1, 2012. If you’re eager for more, check out our other blog post for insightful resources on this journey, including pregnancy information from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development here.
In addition, if you’re interested in practical tools for home insemination, you might want to explore the CryoBaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo here.
Summary:
Navigating through the emotional aftermath of a relationship can feel overwhelming. The journey may involve moments of solitude, laughter, and unexpected encounters with new people. As you reflect on past relationships, the imprint they leave behind may feel both painful and illuminating. Yet, love has a way of reappearing, reminding you to remain open to possibilities.