If you had told my teenage self, who was often lost in the pages of a Jack Kerouac novel or jamming to R.E.M., that I’d eventually become a stay-at-home mom to six children, I would have laughed hysterically. “You’re out of your mind! I’ll never don the apron of domesticity that society wants to pin on me!” I would have scoffed.
Back then, my dreams involved joining the Peace Corps, working with the CDC, and perhaps finding a partner who shared my ideals—maybe even having kids, along with our chickens and goats. I envisioned a bearded man crafting furniture and coops for our farmyard.
Fast forward to today, and I’m happily married to a non-bearded guy who doesn’t often pick up a tool. We have a bustling household filled with kids, but no livestock to speak of. Our grocery expenses are sky-high, thanks to my little ones who eat as if they’re preparing for a marathon. Between shuttling them everywhere and never quite catching up on laundry, my life looks a lot different than I imagined. Yet, surprisingly, I find immense joy in this ordinary existence I once resisted.
Still, there are ways in which I remain connected to my 17-year-old self:
- My Love for Reading: I still have a deep passion for literature, though now it takes me about a year to finish a book! I’m drawn to titles that don’t feature princesses or dinosaurs, but my bedside table is a testament to my good intentions—a stack of books that often serves as a reminder of my need to dust rather than read.
- Musical Tastes: While I think my music choices are cool, my kids would disagree. My beloved Neko Case and Wilco albums don’t resonate with them, which means I’ve memorized more Top 40 lyrics than I ever wanted. Still, Ed Sheeran gets a pass for being cute and approachable.
- Fashion Awareness: I keep an eye on fashion trends—not because I want to wear them, but because I need to know what to firmly say “no” to when it comes to my kids’ wardrobe choices. Some trends are just downright questionable, and I aim to be prepared to intervene.
- The Party Bus Mentality: In my youth, I often fantasized about hopping onto a tour bus to meet bands after shows. Now, my dreams of a party bus have transformed into needing a 12-passenger van to accommodate my growing family. Our vehicle is filled with kids rather than musicians, and the only “fun” substances on board are my Xanax and a bit of Benadryl for long trips.
- Valuing Alone Time: At 17, I cherished moments of solitude to reflect and ponder life’s bigger questions. These days, my quiet time is spent looking forward to finishing one of those books that has taken up residence on my bedside table—hoping to wrap it up by late 2027.
- Enduring Love: The guy I had a crush on at 17 is still the one I adore. He’s now a wonderful father and is more attractive than ever. I never thought we’d end up together, and while he may not have been interested in chickens and goats, our love story is one of the few things that has remained beautifully unchanged.
- Accidental Smoke: Occasionally, you might find me in a smoky situation, but it’s not from anything intentional. It’s more likely due to my forgetting to set the oven timer and overcooking the chicken nuggets—yes, I set off the smoke alarm more often than I’d like to admit!
The teenage me would have never imagined worrying about ingredient labels, celebrating mundane laundry victories, or savoring uninterrupted sleep. She wouldn’t have recognized the beauty in not having to reheat the same cup of coffee multiple times or in the sheer delight of non-sticky surfaces.
It’s fascinating how the artsy girl I once was had no idea where real happiness would come from. Life is a curious journey—setting sail, yet burning the map along the way to illuminate the path ahead. To have a plan is great, but embracing life’s unexpected turns is even better.
So, dear 17-year-old me, guess what? I’ve embraced the apron of domesticity, and I’m rocking it!
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Summary: This article reflects on how the author has evolved from her 17-year-old self into a happy stay-at-home mom of six, highlighting the enduring aspects of her personality while embracing the joys and challenges of family life.