Parenting
By Lisa Thompson
Updated: October 12, 2020
Originally Published: March 31, 2012
Seven and a half years ago, I experienced the unimaginable loss of my son, Max, to SIDS. It has been the most challenging ordeal of my life, and the journey of healing from that loss is something I anticipate will never truly end. Recently, I reflected on the methods that helped me emerge from the depths of my grief, allowing me to reclaim a semblance of normalcy. Here are the insights I’ve gathered:
- Time: This is both the most challenging and the most effective remedy for grief. While it can be frustrating to wait for the pain to subside, I found that with time, my feelings began to soften. I vividly recall lying under our kitchen table during that first week, overwhelmed with sorrow, and questioning how long the pain would linger. For me, it took nearly three years before I felt a significant shift.
- Medication: Everyone’s experience is unique, but medication can offer substantial support. Regular visits to a psychiatrist helped me maintain balance. Whenever I doubted the necessity of my medication, I reminded myself that my thoughts of being “fine” were a result of its effectiveness. The right antidepressants truly transformed my life.
- Writing: Diving into my emotions through writing is a daunting task, yet it proved to be incredibly cathartic. Putting my feelings down on paper helped me process the pain and sadness.
- Therapy: Consulting a psychiatrist was just one piece of the puzzle. Having regular sessions with a counselor who understands my journey made a significant difference in my healing process.
- Distraction: It’s easy to become overwhelmed by sadness. I found that engaging in activities like reading, watching movies, or spending time with friends provided necessary breaks from the weight of my grief. I still use this strategy when I need to.
- Allowance: There are moments when it’s perfectly acceptable to feel sad. I embraced those times, allowing myself to release every ounce of emotion until I felt spent. This practice has been immensely helpful.
- Limitation: Early on, I identified triggers that would plunge me into deeper sadness. Establishing boundaries to avoid those triggers has been essential for my mental well-being. It’s crucial to understand what causes the most pain and to steer clear of those influences.
- Decision: After a period of time (for me, around three years), the weight of sadness became exhausting. I realized I needed to actively choose to seek healing. Once I committed to feeling better, my outlook began to improve.
I believe that true recovery from the loss of a loved one is a continuous journey, not a destination. It’s a struggle, but survival is possible. For additional resources on navigating this journey, you might find useful information at Progyny.
If you’re interested in further exploring options for starting a family, check out this helpful article on intracervical insemination. You can also find valuable insights from Cryobaby, who are authorities on the subject.
Summary
Navigating the loss of a child is an ongoing journey filled with challenges. Through time, medication, writing, therapy, distraction, emotional allowance, setting limitations, and making proactive choices, individuals can find a path toward healing. Recovery is not about forgetting but learning to live with the loss.