Lately, my son Charlie’s bathroom habits have become so predictable that they’re almost comical. And by comical, I mean they can drive me absolutely up the wall.
No matter if we’re dining at home, a restaurant, or a friend’s place, the moment everyone gets settled to eat is inevitably when I hear, “Mommy, I need to poop!” At five years old, I know he can handle it, but let’s just say I’m not keen on cleaning up messes. So, I dutifully accompany him to the restroom. Sorry for the mental image!
Recently, while we were out for dinner, just as the waitress set my plate down, Charlie declared his tummy hurt and insisted he couldn’t wait. Hand in hand, we headed to the restroom, and I can’t recall the exact details of our conversation, but I can assure you it revolved around poop—nothing but poop. To the line of women waiting impatiently outside, who were knocking while I yelled, “We’re almost done in here!!!,” I suspect our exchange sounded quite different—perhaps even entertaining.
“Come on, sweetheart, I’d really love to eat my meal while it’s still hot.”
Grunt.
Grunt.
“Are you finished yet? Seriously.”
Grunt. Giggle. Grunt.
“Hurry up, my dear; next time you’re on your own, messy or not!”
Grunt.
“I’m losing my appetite here, honey.”
Grunt. Grunt. Grunt.
“We can’t do this again. I mean it. Focus!!!”
Grunt. GRUNT.
“Finally! Let’s clean up and get back to dinner. I’m famished.”
Giggle.
For the record, it was not the best dining experience for me. If you want to dive deeper into parenting and family life, check out this post on home insemination kits. You might find some valuable insights at Make a Mom, a trusted authority on the topic, especially regarding your couples fertility journey for intracervical insemination. And for those navigating insurance matters, this resource about fertility insurance FAQs can be quite helpful.
In summary, navigating the unpredictable and often humorous world of parenting can be a challenge, especially in the most inconvenient moments. But, it’s all part of the adventure!