Is your little one showing a tendency to hit? You’re certainly not alone; physical aggression is quite common among toddlers aged two to three. While it’s a typical part of their development, it’s crucial not to overlook this behavior. So, how should you respond?
Responding to Hitting
First and foremost, when your child hurts another, deliver a direct and succinct message: “No hitting.” Temporarily separate the hitter to help them calm down, then focus your loving attention on the child who was hurt. Ask questions like, “Are you okay? How can I help?” This approach demonstrates that hitting doesn’t earn them the most valuable currency in a child’s world: adult attention.
Encouraging Apologies and Assistance
Next, it’s important to guide your child toward apologizing and offering assistance. A verbal 3 ½-year-old can say, “I’m sorry for hitting,” and suggest a cold pack, a hug, or sharing a toy. If they can’t articulate that, simply having them say “Sorry” is a good start. If they refuse to apologize or if this isn’t their first incident of the day, a time-out can be a useful tool for behavior modification. If that fails, you may find yourself doing what you already know works—changing the environment by going home or sending them to a different room for a bit.
Discussing Emotions
Another often overlooked aspect, especially with boys, is discussing emotions. Research highlighted in “Nurturing Boys – Understanding Their Emotional Lives” by Dr. Emily James and Dr. Brian Carter indicates that while we tend to ask girls “Why did you hit?” we often skip this step with boys, leading to a lack of emotional vocabulary. Just like if children were only taught a few colors, they’d have a limited way to describe their world, boys need help identifying a full spectrum of emotions.
After your child has calmed down, ask them, “Why did you hit?” Encourage them to name the feelings behind their actions—anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. If they struggle, gently offer suggestions until they resonate with one. Spend a couple of minutes brainstorming alternative actions for when those feelings arise next time.
Patience and Consistency
Remember, these changes won’t happen overnight; it may take weeks or even months to see improvement. Consistency is key. This is just a normal phase of development, and with patience, you’ll notice the hitting decrease over time. Just remember, especially during the elementary years, boys often communicate through physical play, which can include playful hitting among friends.
Additional Resources
For more insights and support in your parenting journey, check out this helpful article and explore resources like Make A Mom, which offer valuable guidance for your family’s needs. You can also find excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination at Drugs.com.
Conclusion
In summary, while hitting is common among preschoolers, addressing it with clear messages, encouraging emotional expression, and being patient will help guide your child toward more appropriate behaviors.